From DC to Scaggsville

Words of Wisdom from Ian #29

2012-01-29T12:32:00.001-05:00

veg·e·tar·i·an

[vej-i-tair-ee-uhn] - an Indian word meaning bad hunter

disclaimer: this may not be an original Ian phrase but anyone who knows him knows it could have been and when he says it he owns it

Tea-bowing

2012-01-20T13:21:00.000-05:00

Really? Sometimes it's scary to think who's teaching our kids.

Teacher allegedly poured hot tea on students to quell fight

Water You Waiting On?

2012-01-10T11:59:00.000-05:00

Remember those days at the swimming pool hesitating to jump in? It may be too cold, I may belly flop, I may hit the bottom. Many have already jumped with no problem. Others won't go in at all. Sometimes people will cheer you on by saying, "Come on in, the water is fine." They know good and well it is not fine but they want to see how you react.

Well, in 2012 I want to decrease my time thinking about jumping and do more jumping sooner. The water may be too cold, and I may belly flop, and I may scrape myself on the bottom but it looks like those who have built up the courage to just jump right in have the most fun.

LED by a Star in the Night

2012-01-09T11:51:00.002-05:00

Since the demise of my vision, I usually ask my wife to drive at night just to be more safe. Christmas Eve night we were on our way back from celebrating at her uncle's house in Sykesville. The road was dark and there weren't many cars out. It was very peaceful just reflecting on Christmas and it's significance.

As I looked into the night sky, I saw a strange light. It was pretty bright but not high in the sky. I have learned from the astronomy pundits that usually when a star is low on the horizon and bright, it is a planet and not a star. It could be Venus passing through, or Mars, or Jupiter which can all be seen at various times in the year. This star was different and it seemed like it was following us. It stayed in perfect view and stayed at the same level and brightness as we traveled down the road.

I couldn't but help think about the Biblical reference of the star in the night sky when Jesus was born. There are lots of songs about how the star in the sky rested above where the baby lay. Some say it was a band of angels gathered to celebrate the birth of the Savior. Others say the light in the sky led people from near and far to the newborn baby.

I wondered what this star was leading me to or having me follow. As we turned onto Rt. 29 near our home and the roads were now more donned with light, I could still plainly see the luminous beacon in the sky. It got to a point where I started to point it out to my family, but I did not yet and kept the mystery to myself. As we approached a clearing over a field, I noticed the light seemed to have a greenish hue. This now started to bother me a bit. It was not a plane because it was clearly still and not moving. Was it a UFO, was it the space station, or a floating satellite?

As I turned to peer more intently, the light suddenly disappeared. Just as mysteriously as it appeared, it was gone. Wait, it's back! Then, it hit me as I looked to my right out the window and to my left in the car. The beacon in the night was clearly just the LED light from the recirculate button on the air-conditioning control. It was reflecting on the passenger window in a way that made it look like a star dancing in the night.

As I laughed to myself (still not mentioning anything to my family), I thought of an important lesson this teaches. As many of us struggle with faith vs. science and keep being told they are mutually exclusive...they are not. Just because something can be scientifically explained does not mean that God didn't provide it for you. God made science. Follow YOUR star.

Words of Wisdom from Ian #28

2012-01-08T23:14:00.004-05:00

I was impressed when Ian was on the phone with one of his friends. He was asking his friend about career goals. I was amazed someone so young was this engaged in preparing for the future and already thinking about what type of career to go into. Then he was telling his friend how he had so many career goals.

Eventually, from Ian's side of the conversation, I figured out they were talking about goals in floor hockey.

Chester the Molester, CALL 911

2011-11-10T13:23:00.001-05:00

The weeks have been rolling by and I keep not making time to write. So many thoughts and opinions I didn't capture...well, here we go.

The buzz all this week has been on Pennsylvania State University and Joe Paterno. If you haven't followed the story, Coach "Joe Pa" has been coaching football at Penn State for over 61 years. He is basically the institution itself and an NCAA football icon. I don't watch much college football or follow it much so to me he's just another one of those old school, old heads in college football. There are several of them around the country. Paterno is the grandaddy of them all, I guess. He may have gone to school with William Penn.

Paterno has a creepy Assistant Coach, Sandusky, who is his right hand man for years. He started working with Joe in 1969. Sandusky likes young boys and has built a life for himself molesting and assaulting boys aged 7-13 years old. There have been eight that we know about so far over 15 years. Sandusky creates a non-profit in the late 70's to help at-risk kids and give them additional support from someone whom they can see and touch. His emphasis was on the touch, it seems. As years goes by, Sandusky finds out he not favored to succeed Joe Pa as head coach and spends his full time with the non-profit. He still, however, has keys to the Penn State campus and the athletic facilities. He keeps these privileges even after he starts to be suspected of molesting the boys.

On two occasions, eye witnesses caught Sandusky in the act of sexually assaulting young boys on the campus of Penn State. One eye witness reported what he saw directly to Joe Pa who in turn reported it to his boss and so on. NOBODY called the police or even campus security either right after the acts were witnessed OR even afterwards. Not the eye witnesses, not Joe Pa, not the bosses, and not even the University President who was later made aware of the witnessed accounts. Nobody even tried to identify the victim or intercede in any way. After the second eye witness account, they finally took away Sandusky's keys to the facilities thinking that was punishment enough and thought they had done their jobs and put it to rest.

As the parents of the victims, along with lawmakers and law enforcement, move to seek justice, only then did police start investigation of Sandusky and University officials. University officials are required by law to report incidents as these to the police. They did not. Paterno's boss and another were brought up on charges for failure to report but Paterno remained untouched even though many started to cry for his ouster. Legally, Paterno's negligence was not criminal since he reported it to his superior. University students and football supporters have been protecting Paterno, the iconic football figure, and trying to keep the attention on Sandusky. Everyone all the way up to the President dropped the ball on this and let the cry of the victims fall silent in their failure to act.

Feeling the heat and growing suspicion that he should've taken more ownership in how things were handled, Joe Pa announced that he would retire at the end of the football season which has about three games to go. As opposition mounted even more, University Board officials this morning fired Paterno and the University president effective immediately.

Did Penn State do the right thing? Was the retribution too harsh on the University and football hero? My question is what took everybody so long? and I'm thinking So hard to get justice for these young victims even when there were eye witnesses? Call the POLICE people. Don't yield to the temptation to "stay out of it!" or let somebody else handle it. Think of those young boys and their parents.

Caveat Emptor - Buyer Beware !!

2011-08-17T10:20:00.011-04:00

The science of marketing is fascinating to me. I have always loved good, clever, and funny television commercials, luring print ads, and radio ads that stick in your mind long after you've heard them. Having a business education and working in finance and accounting, I often think of these things from the perspective of the business--evaluating the ad to determine if it was a good buy or a wise investment.

Other things in marketing really turn me off. Despite working in telephone sales for a while, I really never liked telemarketing calls. I see their necessity and certainly have seen the results of their efforts, but it just didn't click with me--especially cold calls for shoddy products and services (which thankfully I did not do). The biggest turn off for me is purposely deceitful marketing. In our mail every other day there is some piece of mail pretending to be something it is not. The other day I got a handwritten envelope (no return address) and inside was what appeared to be a newspaper page--a full page of car ads. On the top was a handwritten note to check it out, signed by "-J". I assumed it was something my cousin Jesse in San Diego had sent me, but that didn't make sense with the Southern Maryland post mark. Then I realized it was just a junk mail ad for a car dealership and the newspaper clipping was not even from an actual newspaper, just made to look like one. I get countless mail pieces from banks and mortgage companies that try to look like government mail (which should be illegal). Some of these companies even use agency or department in their name to make you think it is from the government. There are also the pieces that use true things from public record to lure you into thinking its real like the amount of your mortgage, your current bank's name (who sold them your name) or your interest rate. Some of it is just plain old dirty. You can clearly see it is targeted for those that won't quite "catch" it such as those who may not read English well, the aged, and the undereducated (that doesn't just refer to "schooling").

As long as there are businesses, there will be creepy dudes thinking of new ways to trick us into buying their products. Some businesses just strive to make good products and good advertising and leave the deceit part out, but too many have to have that trick or gimmick to get your money. Sometimes it's what they purposely don't tell you, sometimes its gross exaggeration, and sometimes it's the old bait and switch...which includes lines like "as low as...", "prices starting at..." and nobody gets what's mentioned or pictured at that price. How about the mark-up to mark-down-- "75% off if you call today"--really?

In closing, here's a classic example. Here is an Exxon gas pump with low, medium, and high-grade gasoline or for them Regular, Plus, and Supreme. Is there any reason, other than to be intentionally deceitful, to put the Supreme pump first and Regular in the middle? They are betting people will not pay attention and assume the lowest is the first pump and they will get a few more cents in their coffers. Even more tricky is that they put the Plus last so if you notice the Supreme is first, you may choose the last pump thinking it is Regular--WRONG AGAIN. Buyer Beware !!!

By the way, I can't pick on Exxon here because not all Exxon pumps are like this and I've seen them at many other gas stations too. There are plenty of other reasons not to like Exxon. What are your brushes with deceitful marketing ads?

Long Summer

2011-07-17T17:16:00.003-04:00

Anybody out there? I haven't written in a while. I have lots of thoughts circling 'round my little brain and will try to get them written down.

I'll try writing soon. Welcome back to DC to Scaggsville.

Here's some random thoughts in case you want to comment below: Carmeggedon? What was that all about? Google+, the new social network? What will it bring? Why is it better/worse than Facebook? Debt Ceiling--should it stay or should it go? Rupert Murdoch. Is the empire falling apart? Why is gas so high? Still. Oh, and by the way, it's National Ice Cream Day. That's the real scoop.

Words of Wisdom from Ian #27

2011-01-30T18:58:00.004-05:00

"Dad, when we are ready to get a new car, I think you should get

a Jeep, a Ford, or a Bugatti...or an Audi."

Words of Wisdom from Ian #26

2011-01-23T14:30:00.007-05:00

IAN: Mom, you should have seen the optical course they had set up for roller skating.

MOM: You mean obstacle course? Optical has to do with sight.

IAN: Well no, ...optical, you had to see it to be able to do it.

Three Soup Pho You

2011-01-04T22:42:00.009-05:00

As I was enjoying a hot bowl of soup this evening, I was thinking to myself, "Wow, this is good." I try not to talk about food so much on this blog, but it is such a big part of my life that I can't resist. I love food and I have a blog so it is natural that the two will collide in a culinary romance from time to time.

I thought it was time to reveal my hall of fame of soups. At first I thought I would list the top five, but I will start with only three that have me salivating now even as I only think about them. Another thing I usually don't like to do is rank food. There is often one day or one experience that makes one dish better than another at any given time, but in this post, I will rank my top three, just for you!

Number Three

Soup: Tomato Basil

Where to get it: La Madeleine, Columbia, MD

This soup is consistently good and it is hot and yummy every time you come to La Madeleine. If you haven't had it before, I have to warn you the texture the first time is a little unusual. It is like a bisque and velvety in texture like spaghetti sauce, not smooth and watery like Campbell's. If you love tomato like I do, you will truly appreciate the pure flavor of this one. The soup is so good, they sell it by the jar right at the restaurant. Find a La Madeleine and try it out, then take a jar home for later. Heat it up with a good ole grilled cheese sandwich and you have a treat.

Number Two

Soup: Pho (Vietnamese Noodle Soup)

Where to get it: Pho Saigon 54, Laurel, MD

I have written before on my love for pho (fuh). It is so addictive (my friends Andrew and Sam think they sneak some crack cocaine into the broth). When I don't have it for a while, I have got to get me some. The mix of onion, basil, lime, cinnamon and secret Asian spices make it a soul-warming liquid treasure. I like my pho with well-done beef brisket and thinly sliced flank steak. When it is served, the flank steak on top is raw and it cooks as you stir it into the soup. That's fresh (sorry vegetarians). At Pho Saigon 54, the broth is always strong, never watered down, and they give you a good serving of meat. A large bowl of pho is a meal and it will only set you back $7 and some change. The soup usually comes out piping hot and you add in your own basil, lime, jalapenos, and sprouts. The full flavor of the meat comes out by dipping it in a combination of hoisin and srirachi sauce (the rooster bottle hot sauce). The hoisin is sweet and the srirachi is hot and spicy and together they cause an explosion.

Number One

Soup: Thai Coconut Lemongrass Chicken Soup (Tom Kha Gai)

Where to get it: Bangkok Delight, Columbia, MD/Pasara Thai, Washington, DC

Most people tasting this soup for the first time usually love it or don't really care for it at all. I love things that are spicy and sweet at the same time and this soup wins the medal of honor in that category. The coconut milk makes it nice and creamy and the lemongrass gives it that special Asian twang and then you throw in some chicken and mushrooms. The chicken is really insignificant in this soup. The chicken is usually freshly cooked white meat with very little flavor and a rubbery texture but it gives you something to chew on while you are licking your chops. If you like Thai food and haven't tried this soup, you have missed out. I could have a full meal at the Thai restaurant with this soup, spring rolls, and a hot beef salad. I usually have to have a Panang chicken curry or a Pad Thai or I don't feel like I have dined Thai. This soup is so good, you wanna slap your momma. It is such a unique combination of flavors, I don't think I can describe it. It is sweet, sour, salty, and spicy all in one bite. Cool off with a Thai iced coffee or Thai iced tea afterward and you'll be ready and steady.

This is cold and flu season. When you get the bug, nothing makes you feel better than a good hot bowl of soup. If you haven't tried some of these, give them a try. Try them out now while you are feeling well, so when you get sick and really are wanting some soup, you will know which to crave.

There are lots of soups that deserve honorable mention like the cream of mushroom soup at La Madeleine, my wife's potato and leek soup or her cold Gazpacho,Uncle Mervyn's lentil soup, Chevy's chicken tortilla soup and that special creamy soup at Looney's Pub that I'm not supposed to eat. It gets fuzzy after the first three what I like the most so I couldn't rank them. Maybe after a long winter I will have worked my way through them all enough to take my list to the top ten.

If you've tried these soups and have an opinion, what do you think? What is your favorite soup? Let's hear it below.

Words of Wisdom from Ian #25

2010-12-30T22:09:00.006-05:00

"Now that's some real science right there!"

[heard in the car today...really]

"Grandpa, no, the atomic number for Beryllium is 4, not 9."

[I had to look it up on Google...he was right, Grandpa was wrong.]

The Eyes Have It: Part III

2010-12-20T12:00:00.000-05:00

This entry is posting as I am at Greater Baltimore Medical Center for my third glaucoma filtration surgery or trabeculectomy. I thought I was was done with these things but about a year after my last surgery on my right eye, my intraocular pressure started to creep up again. My left eye has remained stable, but without vision for the most part so this is my good eye that is starting to give trouble again.

Since this is my third time having this procedure and the second time on my right eye or "good eye," you would think I'm used to this and it would be a piece of cake. Truth is, there is no way to feel comfortable about an incision and stitches in the only good eye you have left. One slip and that's it. Even if the surgery goes well but proves unsuccessful, it could mean the demise of the vision I have left. That's the down side. The optimistic side is this will allow me to hold on the vision I have.

A few days ago, I was able to pass a test with my doc and renew my Maryland drivers license. I had to waive the test at the MVA and rely on "a note from my doctor." I so felt like Juan Epstein giving the note to the guy at the MVA. Turns out the form was incomplete and we had to have my doctor complete the form and fax it while I was at the MVA. Quite an ordeal.

I will be home the next couple of weeks recuperating from the surgery. I will be mostly blind for a couple of days and then after the patch comes off, I will have use of my good eye again but it will be blurry and my eye will be dilated so reading or seeing detail will be out of the question. If I'm not online or on Facebook by 12/25/10, let me take this opportunity to say Merry Christmas to all of you.

This is a very humbling Christmas for me and my family. I am very grateful for gainful employment, for health, for my wife and kids, my family and so many of the basic things that two years ago I took for granted. Three days ago I was not sure if I would be able to legally drive a car again. Today I will be riding home in a car, in darkness, wondering if I will be able to see again. I am so happy. I'm thrilled for what God has given me and the opportunities He places in front of me. I'm looking forward to the greatest year ever.

I hope your New Year will be the best year ever.

This entry is part of a series about my glaucoma. Click on "Eyes" to your right for the previous stories.

New York with Take 6

2010-12-18T17:19:00.007-05:00

Think of your favorite performing artist, musician, band, group, or actor. Now imagine you win a contest to spend some time with them up close and personal. It is no secret to many of my readers that I love Take 6. I sing solo contemporary Christian music, but those who know me well know that I would love to sing barbershop quartet style in a small group. 10-time Grammy Award winning Take 6 has been my favorite group since they started in the late 80's fresh off the campus of Oakwood College in Huntsville, Alabama, now Oakwood University. In fact, other than Michael Jackson, I don't think there is any other group or artist for which I can say I have every one of their CDs. [pic below: Rockefeller Plaza, duh]

On Facebook I joined the Take 6 page and there was a link to enter a contest. I clicked on the link which took me to the Heads Up page or the management group for Take 6. The instructions were simple. Enter to win two tickets for the Take 6 show in Brooklyn, NY plus an $800 gift card. I enter things like this often and never win anything. I even tried to do it for Take 6 once last year when they were doing a Valentine's Day show. This time I was the winner. My prize would include a 15-minute master class. I wasn't quite sure what that was but knew that I'd be talking to some of the guys one-on-one. [pic below, me with cousin Andrew]

The first hurdle was figuring out who would go with me. The show was on a Saturday night and my wife works weekends. She started early trying to get off from work because she already had in a request to get off on 12/25. Her employer I won't mention, but are a large, heartless hospital located in Washington, D.C. Her supervisor told her even if she had the hours of PTO and someone to cover, they would not let her take off because it would cause anyone who covers her to go over 40 hrs in a week and that was not permitted. Ughhh!! They are so ridiculous.

Well, next in line was my oldest, the 14 yr old. She plays the violin and has some interest in music so I thought getting backstage and meeting musicians would be cool for her. And being in NY, she should love it. And she did.

There is nothing like checking in at the hotel and reaching for your wallet and finding out your credit card is missing. Your only credit card. And that's what happened. Luckily I did have the card I won in the contest. It was enough to cover our transportation around the city in addition to our hotel and train fare. My cousin Andrew in NYC treated us to a couple of wonderful lunches and that was awesome. My wife told us on the way back she found my credit card in the car. I evidently left it there after going to the ATM before the trip. Phew! [pic below: Me on the stage with Take 6 tenors David Thomas and founder Claude McKnight (yes, Brian McKnight's brother)]

The concert was awesome and incredible. Take 6 is amazing. They did new songs, they did new things and it was more enjoyable than I could have imagined. There is no question in my mind why they have been nominated for more Grammy awards than any other vocal group ever. We got to see also Herald Square, Rockefeller Center and a few other NY sites in between. In my master class, I got to talk with David Thomas and Claude McKnight about my music and where I wanted to go. It was great to get their perspective and share some thoughts. They are a great group of guys. [pic below: Me and daughter with Take 6 at Brooklyn Center for the Performing Arts]

This was like a dream come true for me. Very exciting. I also had a great time with just me and my daughter. There are tons of details that would take me forever to write down, so to make a long story short, it was awesome.

Sweet and Low-Class

2010-11-04T13:09:00.008-04:00

Every now and then you want some nice Italian pasta or brick oven goodness. A great value for the money is Bertucci's. They are a chain but pretty decent. We usually hit the one in Columbia on Snowden River Parkway (near Home Depot). Dining at Bertucci's is kicking it up a notch from our other more economical Italian favorites like J&P's New York or Pasta Blitz. It's in company with Carrabba's, Romano's Macaroni Grill or the wonderful and still underrated, Pasta Plus in Laurel. I love the calzoni for which you can stuff with your own choice of toppings. I love getting the sun-dried tomatoes, roasted black olives and meatballs. Our cousin Lisa, after the fact, tells us she makes her own calzoni at home. We'll be paying her a visit soon. Not sure if she has a brick oven.

While all this talk about Italian is making me hungry again, this post is not even about the food. This post is about something discovered after dinner. We order coffee, as Bertucci's coffee is pretty tasty. I reach for the sugar dish and there are no yellow packets. That's not a good sign. With no yellow, I reach for the blue (my alternate) and tear two packets open to sweeten my coffee.

I can't say I notice a difference in the taste right away, but I look at the packet and I'm outraged. ULTRA? What the heck is Ultra? They are using knock-off sweeteners? I reach for the pink which is usually Sweet and Low and it reads Sweet Thing. What kind of bean-counting, inconsiderate, bonehead gets knock-off sweetener at a fairly nice family restaurant? It may be understandable at Szechuan Sea carry out (I hope that's not an actual name), but not here. I don't even think the super-thin-napkinned, $2 Coke, $.05 per ketchup carry-outs have knock-off sweeteners.

I was really surprised. I think it ruined my dinner. Well, no, it didn't because the calzone was perfect. Maybe it ruined my coffee...well, maybe not, it still tasted pretty good. OK. It's just the principle of the thing. Watering down the ketchup and putting it back into the Heinz bottles is one thing, this is another. What's next? Joke-O Cola instead of Coke or Pepsi? Maybe Dr. Skippy will replace Dr. Pepper? Food Lion and Bloom's Mountain Lion over Mountain Dew?

Come on Bertucci's. Let's raise the bar a little. It may be great to hear that 80% of people won't notice if you replace the coffee you usually serve with Folger's instant coffee. If you actually try this to save money, you are fired.

Let's bring back the real deal. Give me Splenda, give me pure cane sugar, and give me Sweet and Low. All sweeteners are not EQUAL.

All Other Ground is Sinking Sand

2010-10-12T03:53:00.006-04:00

My wife and I have a tradition that if we dream about someone we know, we will pray for them because we are not sure why that person may have entered our thoughts. Many of you without knowing have been on that list over the years and we have had prayers just for you. It seems like a vivid communication channel that sometimes alarming and disturbing you and other times will put you at ease.

Tonight I dreamed I was delivering special music at the home church I grew up in, First Church in Washington, D.C. I was feeling a little nervous about singing at "home" because I wanted everything to be right. When I was preparing myself mentally to sing, it hit me that the song I brought the performance track for was the same song I sang last time I was there. I was suddenly riddled with anxiety and was feeling unsettled. What would I do? In my head I could hear the brother and sisters saying, "He don't know no other songs?"

I had the mic in my hand and the service was progressing. It would soon be time for me to sing (though at First Church that could be an hour). Just as the pastor was introducing me, I was struck with an idea. I knew there was some talent at First Church and I could be at relaxed at home so I announced my dilemma from the front of the church and asked if anyone had a song they would like to hear.

From the congregation stood my friend Lisa from college. She asked if I knew "My Hope is Built on Nothing Less." It was random for me to see Lisa there because I don't think she attends that church and I was surprised to find her in the audience. I said I knew the song and asked if there was a pianist in the audience who could play a nice arrangement of that for me to sing and someone started to make their way forward.

I started to tell the congregation how I knew Lisa and we both burst into tears as I stood there embracing her. Lisa just lost her husband to an aggressive brain tumor and it was the first time I had seen her since. The pianist began to play and I shared Lisa's song request in testimony.

I've never sung that song as a solo and haven't sung at First Church in a long time but all these pictures and thoughts and emotions were placed so vividly in my mind and on my heart. As I woke up, I tried to remember all this and write it down after praying for Lisa and her family. I began to think of other friends who have lost their husbands lately and the thought of the burden they must bare saddened me but yet I feel comforted that Jesus is still on the throne. I don't know yet if this message was for me or for Lisa, or Lizette, Kathy, Wanda or someone else I didn't even think about or pray for this early morning. I just want you to know I am praying and the Holy Spirit is on the scene.

My Hope Is Built On Nothing Less

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

Refrain

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

Refrain

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

Refrain

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Mutts in Your Wallet

2010-10-11T09:00:00.000-04:00

Following my high school graduation in 1987, I opened my first checking account at the bank that was all mine. Since I scored some big loot from family and well-wishers at graduation, I needed a place to store it all and have easy access to frivolous purchases like T.G.I. Fridays dinners and cassette tapes. So, I opened a combination savings and checking account based on a promotion they were having at the bank. I spent most of my time then around the Takoma Park, Maryland area where my high school was and that's where I met up with most of my friends. The premier local bank at the time was Chevy Chase Bank. I believe it is named for the small town on the DC/Maryland border, Chevy Chase and not the actor, although you never know.

A couple of my friends had accounts there and I had frequented branch locations with them in around our main hangouts in suburban Maryland so I noticed they had decent ATM access. This was the dawning of the age of ATMs--lol. At the time, you couldn't use just any ATM. You had to use only your bank ATM or a bank on the same network system (does Most, Star, Cirrus, Interlink ring a bell?), so convenience was an issue. Bank cards then also were not Visa or Mastercard branded.

The interest rate on the Interest Checking account at the time? 5.00 %. It wasn't as high as some of the other banks and savings and loans (remember them?) but it was pretty decent. There were several bank mergers and take overs through the years many banks changed names several times. The long-time DC bank my parents banked with, Riggs, who used to brag one of their branches is even pictured on the back of a $20 bill, was bought out by Pennsylvania based PNC bank. Sovran bank, based in Virginia with a large office building in Takoma Park, eventually merged and molded into NationsBank and then Bank of America. Bigger regional and national banks like Crestar, NationsBank, Bank of America, Wachovia, Citibank, SunTrust and others came into town and sucked up all the banking adding some to convenience but taking away the local feel and customer service we were used to seeing in banking.

Chevy Chase held on through all these changes. I went away to college to California for four years and my parents would deposit spending money in my account in Maryland for me to have access to in California. I came back and got a job, got married, and with my wife, who already also had an account at Chevy Chase, opened another joint account at Chevy Chase. It was a DMV (DC-MD-VA) institution with branches everywhere except DC (which is another story). After some chiding from DC residents about avoiding the city and poorer areas, Chevy Chase even started to add branches and ATM's in the city and at the airports, local and not-so-local amusement parks, Metrorail stations...they were everywhere and the brand was strong.

After the collapse of the real estate market which is the primary force behind Chevy Chase's parent company, B.F. Saul, our local bank friend started its demise. It started to look for a buyer and eventually gave in to Capital One bank who has its corporate headquarters in McLean, Virginia aka Tyson's Corner, right down the road. To us in this area, Captial One was the obnoxious credit card issuing banksters and didn't even have a bank branch in this part of the country. But, the deal got inked and after almost two years of merging and purging, the Capital One brand has begun wiping away our memories of Chevy Chase, which started using the name as a Savings and Loan in 1969.

In September the signs changed on the marquis, "What's in your wallet?" ads customized for DC began to run constantly and the local family icon bank set up by the Sauls was wiped out. The Saul family name has been in real estate and banking in the DC area since 1892. I don't know why it feels personal, but it feels like a part of my life is now gone. That bank name surrounded me for over 20 years and soon, like the other bank names that disappeared, nobody will even remember.

Current annual percentage yield on interest checking at Capital One: 0.05% Wow, things have changed. "What's in your wallet?"

Cleft Just for Me

2010-10-10T05:42:00.006-04:00

Last weekend I went for the third time to a retreat at Mt. Aetna Retreat Center in the mountains of Hagerstown, Maryland with a group called Maryland Men of Faith. Tony, Bob and Arnold started this five years ago and my friend Andrew invited me along and I have enjoyed seeing the participation grow every year.

The concept is simple, but profound. A bunch of men, mostly from area Seventh-day Adventist churches, gather for a full day of mini-seminars, a main worship service, a couple of meals ('cause men gotta eat), a closing thought, and some good fellowship. You can always meet some new friends, talk more with people you don't know well, learn something new, and bond with a group of guys that hold similar values and challenges before them and their families.

This year I learned a lot from the seminars, including some great information from my high school biology teacher, Mr. Wilson, on Creation v. Evolution, moderation in health issues from a local physician, and great rallies and charges to go forward and be what we are supposed to be as Christian men. It is truly a day of faith-building and focus on ideas and issues from a man's perspective.

The best thing I remember this year was not in the seminars or the sermon and probably not even the intended message of the deliverer, but a message that I think God sent just for me. I was talking to a guy in the lunch line. We will say his name is Bert. Bert works for our world church and has served in finance and accounting missionary roles all over the world in places like Malawi, Sri Lanka, Ethiopia, the Middle East, and more specifically, Iraq.

Bert told me our church was up and thriving, though small, even in Iraq. He said one church in Iraq where even Saddam Hussein's wife had visited occasionally, was bombed four times but it still stood and they were still having church there every week.

Another gentleman next to me asked, "How or why do you think it survived all those bombings?"

Bert's reply was, "It was built of very good rock."

I just loved that answer and think I was the only one captured by the analogy. The church was built upon the ROCK. And it stood.

There, at a retreat with a bunch of men, my personal message came loud and clear. If you want your church to survive the bombings, build it of very good rock. If you want your marriage to be strong and survive the battle, build it on the rock. If you want your children to love and respect you and value you and your spouse, build it on the rock. The Rock of the Ages was cleft just for you.

While I draw this fleeting breath,
When mine eyes shall close in death,
When I soar to worlds unknown,
See Thee on Thy judgment throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee.

Carbucks

2010-09-04T19:49:00.012-04:00

We have become creatures of convenience (lazy) and getting something easier often outweighs the fact of it being good for us or higher in quality. My high school bud and forever friend, Brad Lerch (above at our 20 yr reunion) imports fair trade, certified organic coffee beans from Chiapas, Mexico and sells and ships it from Eugene, Oregon. Cafe Mam (say "mom") is great coffee and I often buy extra just so I can share it with fellow coffee lovers. I get the Othello blend which is some of the smoothest and best tasting coffee I've had. It's light, but not "watered down" one bit. You know when you are drinking it that it is high quality and full of flavor.

It is good. I know this. But instead of making it in the morning or even using the handy timer on my Krupps coffee maker that will nicely run the brew cycle at any time I set it for, I yield to the lazy. Just one exit South on Route 29 from Scaggsville is the Burtonsville Starbucks. So, not only is Starbucks convenient because I don't have to make it myself but THIS Starbucks has a drive-thru. The convenience doesn't even stop there. There is a Park and Ride exit ramp off the main road that basically feeds right to the drive thru line. It's basically a coffee exit ramp. I can get in, hit the java and return back onto my daily commute without missing a beat.

So, if you're looking for good coffee, check out www.cafemam.com. If you are a lazy lima bean and want a drive-thru coffee experience, and Burtonsville happens to fulfill your desire for convenience, check out Starbucks. Check out the video below.

Words of Wisdom from Ian #24

2010-09-01T22:14:00.003-04:00

"Exactly at what age do you become a cowMAN?"

Are You Dedicated or Committed?

2010-08-22T11:00:00.001-04:00

One of my old co-workers, [and I say old not because he's a senior citizen but because we no longer work together and it was a long time ago] used to have two sayings (probably more) that always stuck with me.

I don't think Bill grew up in the South, but you know how Southern folk always have a "saying" or humorous analogy for every situation? Well, that was Bill. Any time we were eating and the meat looked a little on the rare side, he'd say, "Man, a good veterinarian could get that thing breathing again!"

Now, every time that happens to me, I say the same thing and my family just rolls their eyes because they know it's coming. My wife even recently called me on it and asked, "Do you have to say that every time?" Funny thing is yes, I think I do. It's wired in now.

Every time I'm lucky enough to get a parking space right in front of my destination, I also will yell out, "Must be in the front rowwwww." This is from the old Bob Uecker Lite Beer commercial from the 80's. Now, when we pull up to the space in front, my son says, "Say it Dad!"

The other saying from Bill would usually come out of discussions about dedication. He would ask, "Are you dedicated or committed?"

Most people would look at him puzzled as if the face wrinkles were asking, "Huh?"

"Well, just look at the bacon and eggs breakfast," he'd say and then pause.

"The chicken is DEDICATED, the pig was COMMITTED."

Hey See/DC, Back and Black

2010-08-22T06:31:00.005-04:00

Yes, I know. I haven't been here for a while (like the two people who read this thing ever noticed). I usually try to get in a couple of blogs per month to keep it real and keep it current but I have been slacking since I reached the one year blog-a-versary in May.

I was really feeling down in the Doldrums on my job search and starting to feel like I couldn't write about anything without sounding depressed or hopeless. I like to try to keep these discussions from the heart, but probably not that real. Though I thought about it for a while, this is not my personal journal and I'm not telling you everything. I don't even know some of you.

Well, the good news is I started a new job. I am feeling cheery, yet overwhelmed, and I'm feeling more like life is a blessing than a curse these days.

So, hopefully....I will get back in the rhythm and do some more jotting from my brain. Good luck to the 3 of you that will get the tie-in of the title.

Thanks again as always for stopping by.

Words of Wisdom from Ian #23

2010-08-16T20:13:00.003-04:00

"A man judges a house by the number of bathrooms...

that's all that matters."

A Little Song to Boost Your Faith

2010-07-01T06:30:00.005-04:00

Artist Robert T. Barrett

I love music and since I sing contemporary Christian music, that is probably what I listen to most. Every now and then a song comes out that stands the test of time and packs that message even over the years.

I want to share a song that snuck up on me even though its been out for years. I had heard it many times performed by Casting Crowns on my favorite Christian radio station, WGTS 91.9 in Washington. I heard people perform it at church but never really paid much attention to it. I dare say I didn't care for it much. I never sang it myself or even felt like it was a song I wanted to learn. After recently hearing it in the car a couple of times and really concentrating on the lyrics, I found it to be moving and just really hitting home for me lately. The song does a great job of taking your emotion today and taking it through the Christian and Bible experience. So here it is. I hopes you like:

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:
But the voice of
truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

I will choose to listen and
believe the voice of truth

Words of Wisdom from Ian #22

2010-06-29T16:30:00.001-04:00

D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty

"Hey Dad, does Adrian Fenty still have

to use shampoo and conditioner?"

Smart Phones Getting Smarter

2010-06-28T23:42:00.008-04:00

Wow, June is almost over and I have not had very many posts this month at all. I need to catch up in July.

Since I switched to my Droid Eris, I have been online much more mobile than being at the computer in my leisure time so my blogging and my Facebooking have decreased. Well, my facebooking from the computer that is. I guess I have technically been facebooking more since I can just whip my phone out anytime and post a comment or two.

I could do this on my BlackBerry too, but the Droid has made it fun and more visual.

So where are you in the smart phones war? I previously had a BlackBerry Curve which I thought was awesome. It had a nice big display and I had seamless syncing with Outlook info at work and at home. I got used to the keyboard after about a month. When I first got it I thought the keys were so small and my fat fingers would never work, but you get used to it. I even got pretty fast like Reverend Run texting in his bath tub.

Switching to the Droid I thought the same thing. The Eris has only a virtual keyboard like the iPhone so it was really a jump to get used to it. I'm now much better with my fat fingers after a couple of months. I often ponder whether I should have opted for the Motorola Droid with both the virtual keyboard and the slide-out real keyboard, but I thought if those iPhone people could get used to it, so could I.

A couple of weeks ago, Sprint released its 4th Generation mobile phone, HTC Evo. The Evo is essentially the same as the Droid Incredible on the Verizon network but Sprint is the only network so far on the state of the art 4G platform with wider bandwidth and faster downloads. I have been surprised to see some of my loyal iPhone friends switching to Sprint to get the Evo. One friend jumped AT&T when the Sprint Palm Pre came out and then upgraded to the Evo a few months later.

I have long been holding out for the iPhone to come to Verizon. I am a former Mac user who's been waiting for the wealth to come back and I'm impressed with Apple's ergonomics and quality. I also think in the DMV (DC, Maryland, Virginia), Verizon offers the best network coverage so I have solely not switched to an iPhone because I am scared of bad phone service and dropping even though my friends in the area say that is not a problem. I know it is a problem because lots of times those friends don't have bars on their phone when I do or their calls with me get dropped. iPhone on Verizon was rumored to happen in June 2010, now they're saying September, and some are saying never since Apple didn't mention it in the last Steve Jobs "look what I can do" exhibition. I want a Touch iPod, an iPad, a PowerBook and an iPhone but I don't see a path to getting any of the above any time soon in my reality world. I got to play with a friend's new iPad the other day and it was really cool. I haven't the slightest idea why I would want one or need one, but I do like it.

From what I've read, the new Apple iPhone 4th Generation, the Sprint HTC Evo and the Verizon Droid Incredible are pretty much comparable in processing ability and versatility. While the Apple Store bosts many times over more apps than the competing Android marketplace, there are enough 10's of thousands of apps in the Android market to compete for useful and fun applications. In other words, if one has 200,000 and the other has 50,000 apps, I really only need the best 10 or 20 apps, not all the other junk.

Smart phones are doing amazing things and I think people will become more and more dependent on their phones now with apps and Internet access. I downloaded an app this week that allows me to use my phone as a remote control (Verizon FioS Remote Control). It not only gives me all the functionality of my "real" remote, but it also allows me to share pics from my phone directly to the TV with a flick of the pic and since it goes through my wireless router, not direct line of sight, I don't even have to point it at my TV or try to reach it around my kids wondering aimlessly in front of the TV. At dinner tonight I used my phone to figure out the tip and my phone Google Maps and GPS to find the nearest Coldstone Creamery for ice cream which was only two miles away and didn't even know that place was there.

Some people are into gadgets and are really excited by this revolution in smart phone technology. Other people (my parents and in-laws) are still thinking their cell phone is just for making calls and don't even use texting to send or receive messages. Wherever you are in the spectrum, things are changing in the game and you gotta keep up with what's going on and learn your stuff.

Reach out to your personal phone geek to get the 411. My old high school bud, Dale Dowdie via fb gave me the low-down on switching to the Droid from the BlackBerry. If your "new every two" is about due, or your contract is coming to an end, or you recently came into a big load of cash, now's the time to see which way you will go. Don't be left too far behind.

The bottom line is will a smart phone enhance your life, your business, your playtime, your efficiency or effectiveness?

Words of Wisdom from Ian #21

2010-06-09T17:07:00.004-04:00

Ian while listening to the soundtrack

from the classic film, "Sound of Music":

"How come the German people have British accents?"

Then Try Chai Again

2010-05-27T08:00:00.000-04:00

Recently, I had lunch with my friend Sam, a distringuished Howard County attorney, at the Royal Taj in Columbia. The food there was fantastic by the way, and part of their lunch buffet includes hot chai. Sam mentioned he loves chai and said he had been searching for some good chai that he could grab on a regular basis.

I told him I had tried the chai latte at Starbucks and it wasn't bad. It did not have a true Indian masala experience like the cup we were enjoying at Royal Taj, but it wasn't bad for "fast food."

He said he liked the chai at Panera. It is a little less convenient to get one in a hurry but if you are there at non-peak hours or sitting down for a while at Panera, it's a nice treat. Attorneys need to do a lot of reading and writing so Panera may be one of his favorite hang-outs for a good sit-down in a venue other than the office.

Later that week I read a review on HowChow about chai at the Sidamo Coffee and Tea at Maple Lawn. It was actually a blurb on it from the Washington Post. Maple Lawn is a growing mini-community with mixed residential and commercial buildings in Fulton, bordering Rte 29, 216 and Johns Hopkins Road. HowChow is a great blog I read on food all over Howard County, Maryland.

We had to have a chai-off.

The verdict was somewhat predictable. The chai latte at Sidamo was rich and creamy and sweet just the way we both like it. It is a rich treat and I'm sure if you drank those regularly, you will be adjusting the notches on the belt.

The Panera chai certainly gets honorable mention and is tasty and good. It is less sweet and you get more of a tea taste with it. Certainly enjoyable.

Right now as I type this I'm sipping a Starbucks chai. It is tasty, but certainly gets elevated status on convenience by the fact that it is the only one I can get from a drive-thru (Burtonsville).

Sidamo is an Ethiopian owned coffee shop and has great coffee and sandwiches also. I have tried the roast beef and the tuna. Easily one of the best tuna sandwiches away from home I have ever had. There are some surprise spices in the mayo mix that make it awfully tasty. The muffins are outstanding--moist and full of flavor.

If you like a nice coffee or sandwich at a nice corner cafe, give Sidamo a try. I would urge you to try the chai. If you have tried chai and didn't care for it previously...or if at first you did not succeed, try chai again.

Words of Wisdom from Ian #20

2010-05-26T10:58:00.004-04:00

The other day we were heading to Panera and Ian saw an elderly couple walking arm-in-arm and smiling. Perplexed by geriatric love he exclaimed,

"Wow, you don't see that often, not even in the action movies"

Venus "Draws" Attention

2010-05-25T15:57:00.008-04:00

I admit I don't know the first thing about fashion. The last fashionable thing I wore was back in college when I used to shop at Oak Tree and had a high-top fade with lines cut in. I also admit I don't know much about tennis. I follow the big matches some and pay attention when there is big hype out there about a match or about controversial "out" call.

Well, this week France was the perfect setting for Venus (the tennis player, not the Roman goddess) to bring fashion and tennis together. I remember as a boy hoping for a super-strong serve by women tennis players so you could get a glimpse of their briefs. Everyone knew tennis skirts were designed by men specifically for that purpose. It was a bit naughty, but since it was tennis, it was with a flare of elegance and sophistication. Kind of the same way the men's shorts were so tight you could tell what religion they were. And no, those weren't always tennis balls in their pockets.

Venus has her own tennis clothing line and so I guess she knows something about fashion and she certainly knows something about tennis. To me she crossed the line in wearing what was socially acceptable. She is all woman and she deserves to create clothes that accent her unique athleticism and the power of her femininity. But c'mon, you was wearing your draw's out there. For those who need an interpretation, where I come from "draw's" (or drawers) is underwear, or lingerie. She was wearing her intimates out there on the tennis court. Maybe this was a distraction move to throw off her opponent or the judges? I'm not really sure. What we do know is Victoria is apparently not the only one with a secret that has been let out of the bag.

Boneheaded Phonehead

2010-05-19T06:42:00.006-04:00

So, I head to the barber shop down the road off Ice Crystal Drive where Kim gives me a nice cut every time and makes my head feel and look good. I'm sitting in the chair getting my hair did and some dude walks in. He looks like the average guy. He's wearing some sweats and a tee shirt...nothing special. He takes a seat a couple of chairs down and tells the barber what he wants. The barber drapes him in a tissue collar and a fancy non-cling apron thingy. As soon as he starts, the guy's cell phone rings.

Now, we expect with courtesy, he will mute or ignore the phone or quickly answer and notify the person he will call them back and yes, this is what he does...THE FIRST TIME. The phone rings again about two minutes later and dude takes the call. Obviously the barber has to stop and he waits patiently for the gentleman to complete his call so he can continue his work. He goes on into prices and orders and asking questions and getting deep into what seemed to be a business call. He leaps in and out of English and another language to which his friend on the line seemed to be following with ease. Next thing I know the barber is sitting down and dude is still talking on his phone. For the twenty minutes or so I was still there this guy talked on his phone while his barber was sitting in the customer reception chair waiting for Mr. Trump to close his deal.

Now, that's just rude. This is the type of behavior that causes businesses to post those annoying NO Cell Phone signs that make you wonder, "Who are you to say whether I talk on my cell phone or not? I'll talk on my phone if I want to. Certainly I have a right to sit here in the third pew in church with my Bluetooth on and take the next call if I want to."

What are people thinking? The other thing I hate is people in public places like stores and restaurants who use their cell speaker phone. We don't want to hear that crap and I can tell from the conversation that THIS call surely could've waited until a more private moment.

Ever since car phones became portables, we are faced with being thrusted into awkward encounters with people who must take that call and dismantle the surrounding pace of business and privacy. You do not need to talk on the phone while you are ordering at the drive-thru, at the counter at Starbucks (I mean how yuppy is that?), while being pulled over by a cop (no matter how funny that is to the person on the other end), at church or when you are next to someone who is also talking on the cell phone.

And one more important public service announcement. Do not talk on the mobile phone while you are in the bathroom. This is gross and impolite on several different levels and just plain nasty. I once witnessed a guy talking on the phone in the bathroom complete with loud showering sounds, partial straining while talking, gaseous exchange and flushing. I won't mention the guy's name but he was a senior scholar at a research organization who speaks with heads of state and dignitaries all over the world (may not want to shake that hand). There are germs and bacteria and certain noises in the bathroom that cannot be allowed out of the sanctity of that room. And please, please wash your hands.

Don't be a boneheaded phonehead.

Overqualified and Underemployed

2010-05-11T23:30:00.000-04:00

This job market (if you are reading this years from now, this is 2010) is bringing a old concept back into workplace use that has not been around for a while.

Not me, but someone I know, was recently asked in a job interview if they thought they were overqualified for the job they were applying for. This is after they were sent the 2 1/2 page job description and after being in the interview for thirty minutes going over qualifications and expectations.

What does it really mean to be overqualified?

To me there are really only three things that would make an employer ask this question.

(1) They are worried that underutilization will cause boredom and therefore make you a flight risk. Companies don't want to invest time and money into training you if you will be gone in six months. OK, I get that. I've also been around enough to see that risk has much less to do with someone's skill ability than how they are treated on the job and how they are valued at the company.

(2) They are worried you have worked at a higher level than the job at hand and you may not possess the actual technical skills to do the job at the lower level. So, in this I envision that boss late on a Friday that has an employee on vacation and he is stumbling through trying to take over the tasks of their workers only to finally give up in desperation and wait until they return, leaving an insurmountable mountain of work like they had never left. So, the boss knows from that experience that if they had to do that every day, that would not be a good thing. My view on this is yes, they may not have had to use the skills in that job, but I think it is just as easy to train someone with broader experience than someone who hasn't been around the block enough times yet. If you have to train someone anyway, why should someone with more experience be a turn-off?

(3) They are worried that you will be so good, you may be after their job. I used to think this was cliche, but in this cut-throat market where employees are lined up 10 deep for positions and people are getting fired for sneezing at work (that's an analogy), people are competitive and do anything and everything to stomp you out and eliminate you as a threat.

The fact is people need jobs. People who couldn't find a job in their field are looking to start over in new areas and they need a paycheck. There is nothing more frustrating to an honest, hard worker than to swallow the pride of your previous salary to interview for a position 30% to 50% lower in pay than to hear..."SORRY, you have too much experience for this job." We were looking for someone a little dumber, a little less inquisitive and a little more unmotivated. Forget the fact they are trying to feed his or her family or to save their home or car.

There are so many people right now who are fed up with their jobs. They are treated badly and threatened with harsh retaliations for simple things because they are so easily replaceable and they are holding on. Why do they stay? They need jobs and it is a hard market. The moment the jobs loosen up, a whole bunch of people will be quitting their jobs and seeking a higher level of satisfaction.

People with Masters and Doctoral degrees and 25 years of experience are doing entry-level jobs that are usually filled by college graduates and unskilled workers, and those with less education.

Here's my word to hiring employers. Treat the workers you have right. When you need to hire someone, hire someone who is teachable and wants to work. Loyal employees breed in places where they are challenged, learn new things, and feel valued. Someone who is over-experienced for your position but willing to learn and to work for you should be a great find.

Words of Wisdom from Ian #19

2010-05-11T00:09:00.001-04:00

"Did Michael Jackson write "Black or White" because he was

Black for half of his life and White for the other half of his life?"

Doting on the Little Dude

2010-05-10T07:34:00.002-04:00

Last week at my son's school they had something I had never heard of before and I thought it was a neat idea. He goes to a Seventh-day Adventist (Christian) school and they are doing something called "I am God's Kid."

The kids are supposed to gather all kinds of info about themselves like their favorite Bible texts, Bible stories, food, hobbies, songs, etc. They are then to make a poster board displaying creatively all of their favorite things. Each day the child shares one of their favorite things with the class. One student goes per week so each kid has a whole week to share with the class about themselves, their heritage, the things they like, and the teacher then prays for them and endorses their uniqueness and what a blessing they are in God's eyes.

The last day, the parents are invited in and they can share in any way they want how their child is a blessing to them. We brought in brownies for the class as one of Ian's favorite foods and I wrote a poem about Ian and read it to the class. I thought this was a wonderful activity and I hope the kids are really learning more about each other and themselves. What a creative way to share. We are so proud of our kids and they are a wonderful blessing to us.

Here is the poem I shared with the class. Now you would have to know Ian or about the things he shared with the class for this to really click, but nonetheless:

What I see in a boy we call Ian

To tell you about Ian
It’s hard to begin
To show you what I see in
A boy that is so great

When Ian was born, I thought him so small
So tiny was he, under three pounds is all
In third grade you see now he is so tall
Hard to believe how he grew

He laughs and he smiles and brings us such joys
Playing with him is so much better than toys
He easily makes friends with girls and with boys
Everyone loves him around

He likes Biriyani and lamb to be in his mouth
He likes to hunt and to fish and to speak of the South
He knows Civil War battles and how they came out
And who led the charge

He loves to run and chase the ball
He’ll dive for a catch, he’ll take the fall
In the net, through the hoop, a goal, make the call
He likes to play and to win

Country music is good but Christian he loves more
He’s always loved Jesus right down to the core
He loves to pray or look up a scripture
To build strong his faith

To have him as a son, yes we are blessed
The best son of all, we’ve often confessed
If you know Ian, more or less
It’s great to have him to share

To tell you about Ian
It’s hard to begin
So this is the end
A boy that is so great

I Think Q Needs Help

2010-05-09T12:49:00.002-04:00

Q is very valuable indeed. Ten times more valuable than the average in fact. There is only one other illusive fellow that carries such an impact. Z can be a real zinger too.

Q has the potential to change everything. Q can bring great wealth but he is dependent. Without hooking up with the right U or A or I, Q cannot take you very far. There are lots of U's out there but Q struggles to find U when the time is right. A's and I's swing by here and there but they usually spend time with others thinking only U wants to hang out with Q. A and I are rarely seen around with Q. The fact is Q works best with U. They were made for each other Q is looking for U.

The other thing is placement. Without partnership Q can't even get in the game. While Q and I don't need anyone else, U and Q still need support from others and placement is the key. They have to get together and build in the right environment. Their impact is all about location, location, and location. Q and his friends can triple their value or impact when they are in a prime location. Sometimes Q waits so long for U to show that all the best spots are gone. Not finding a place to triple or at least double Q's quotient sometimes just seems like a waste of Q's potential.

Q is looking for U. Will U answer the call and help him out? Partnership and Placement makes Q valuable. I can stand alone, but I is more than ten times stronger standing next to Q or 8 times stronger with X. Q that doesn't hook up with anyone and stands alone at the end can drag you down minus 10. It has the strongest impact in both directions. So, keep Q on the positive. Thank Q.

Words of Wisdom from Ian #18

2010-05-06T07:17:00.001-04:00

"Sometimes when I think about making a life-sized model of Neptune, then I realize if I did that, it would be like bigger than this Earth."

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

One Year Down, DC 2 Scaggsville Reaches Milestone

2010-05-01T21:42:00.008-04:00

Well, I made it. It is May 1 and I have made it a whole year of blogging.

I did not know which direction this would take twelve months ago. I was actually opposed to blogging. Well, not really opposed, I just didn't get it. Besides celebrities and experts, I didn't understand who would want to read rants by random people. I now have people who tell me they actually read my blog from time to time. Many of my closer friends see the blog because I have it linked to feed automatically to Facebook, but it has been exciting over the months.

On my blog, I have found cousins in Washington and Illinois I never knew I had. I have found a neighbor that just happened to be searching through on neighborhood things. I have even caused people to debate important topics of the day which is what I really love. I have followed several more new blogs of people with great insights. I have shared poems and songs and difficult thoughts along with happy cheers and fun things as well.

I entered this venture because I found myself intrigued by the blogs of three of my friends. Now, one of them has pretty much stopped writing, and the other two have taken their thoughts more private. One of them most faced retaliation at the job for being honest in the blog about work situations and conditions. That makes my stomach turn.

More importantly I have done this for me to try to build on this way of expressing things. There are several days that go by and I don't write down a thought. That I still have to improve. There are times I hold off because I don't want to be negative or I don't want to gloat and all those things are important parts of my life I want to learn better how to share.

Thank you all for reading my little written deliveries from time to time. I hope I can keep it going. Thanks especially for all you who pass along my thoughts or take time to share a comment or two. Here are some of my favorites over the past year:

>> The first blog Entry

>> The Cheesecake Fattery

>> A Mighty Fine Fella - a blog about my dad

>> A Tribute to Michael Jackson

>> A Tribute to some of my teachers

>> Tricks with your mind

>> An Intro to some of my cool relatives

>> My struggle with Glaucoma

>> A poem about thankfulness

>> Closer to Dr. King's dream

>> Chivalry is not dead - hilarious true story

If you are viewing this on Facebook, come by the "real" blogspot every now and then:

http://dc2scaggsville.blogspot.com/

Water You Looking At

2010-04-27T09:11:00.007-04:00

This year for Easter I was looking forward to a great dinner at my Mom's house. She said she wasn't fixing much, but invited her three children home for a nice home-cooked meal. The menu was something like this: Garlic-roasted lamb, fried turkey, macaroni and cheese, collard greens, turnip greens, potato salad, corn, grilled asparagus and veggies, chocolate cake, and pecan pie. I'm glad she didn't make a big fuss, right?

Nothing complements one of Mom's meals like a nice tall glass of her sweet iced tea. I poured me a nice tall glass over ice, squeezed a wedge of lemon and was ready to taste a quenching sip. What? Something was wrong. It tasted funny. I knew that taste...that smell. It took me back to hot summer days at the local public pool at Whittier--a mixed good/bad memory for sure. It was chlorine! That's it. I could taste it in the tea. At first I thought it must be the ice, but others drinking sodas did not have the same reaction from their drink. My Mom tasted the tea with no ice and determined it was the tea itself. Turns out in a recent maintenance move in the kitchen, Dad did not re-connect the water filter and yes, high chlorine water was ruining my iced tea adventure.

Back in 1987, like many others who got entrenched with multi-level marketing business ventures, I became a proponent of filtered water and an NSA water filter representative. There are good things and bad I could say about NSA and their filters, but the fact is it brought me awareness of the poison and contamination in city water. Since then I have lived on filtered water and appreciated a higher level of safeness and satisfaction from my water at home. Now you may be one of those people who doesn't taste the difference or isn't worried about cryptosporidium or bacteria or other potentially harmful substances. Chlorine is something you can smell and taste...the things you can't smell or taste are really scary.

In the late 90's I upgraded to the Amway water treatment system which I still use today. I won't go into all the specifications and reasons I choose the filter, but it works and it is one of the best. Today Amway also has the eSpring water treatment system which also includes UV light to kill the bugs that physical barrier filters cannot.

Later in April, several weeks after our Easter day event, the local news broadcasted warnings for the area in DC where my parents live exclaiming DO NOT USE THE WATER. Do not drink it, do not wash with it or cook with it is what they said due to extremely high levels of chlorine in the city water supply. They also did not state the chlorine was a mistake which makes me wonder should you be more worried about the chlorine or what they were trying to kill with the chlorine?

Make sure your drinking water is protected. Brita or Pur is not an adequate solution. Bottled water is not regulated. In fact, if you drink Aquafina or Dasani, Pepsi and Coke's bottled water, it is just tap water in a bottle. Learn more about your water...don't be NAIVE (is that Evian spelled backwards?). Also, be mindful of plastic bottle disposal and caring for the planet.

If you need an Amway rep, I can hook you up with mine. Like I said, from my years of experience, they are one of the best. You do the research.

Just Chillin' with Joe

2010-04-18T10:32:00.005-04:00

It's been a while since I just went to a cafe to hang out. Today I had to take my cousin for a music theory test at Prince George's Community College and I was going to wait around a couple of hours until she finishes. I toted the laptop with and quizzed the GPS for the nearest Starbucks. It was .50 miles away. Gotta love GPS and the convenience of multi-national chains. About the only thing national chains and franchises are good for is being able to find one near you. Except in the case of Sonic Burger or In-and-Out. The nearest Sonic to us is about 50 miles and the nearest In-and-Out Burger is about 3,000 miles away. Somebody say ROAD TRIP!!!

I've always seen people just chilling in 'Bucks and typing on their computers--much like I am doing right now. I used to think they were doing important things, or working on deadlines, or didn't have Internet access at more convenient and private places.

Now I know they are just looking like they are doing something important. They are playing Farmville, Tweeting, playing FaceBook Scrabble and deleting junk e-mails. They just like how having the laptop makes them look more important. And it makes them feel a little less lonely.

One hour down, one hour or so to go.

Happy Sunday y'all. Ssssssip.

DeTAXification

2010-04-16T08:46:00.011-04:00

In the middle of every year we swear it will be better next year. We pledge to be more organized and on task. We set an agenda to study and research issues that will make it better and give us more advantage.

Yes, it's tax time. April 15. The most famous deadline in the United States.

The timing of the annual U.S. tax deadline comes at a peculiar time in the year. You know as the calendar year comes to a close that you will have to start getting things together. January comes and you are reminded at the end of the month when you get all those W-2's, 1099's, 1098's and other official looking forms in envelopes marked--"Important Tax Information." Then, some of us get disconnected between January 31 and March 31.

A couple of years ago I got pretty good at keeping aside all my tax-related receipts and documents. I do my taxes myself so I would always buy my TurboTax at Costco by 12/31 so I could claim the tax prep fee for that tax year. I would toss all the receipts and official reporting forms in a folder getting ready for the big day. And yes, for a couple of years I had my taxes done and filed within the first three weeks of February. I never understood how some people could get theirs done in January before they even got the reporting forms and I don't need to be prepared at that level yet. Some of these people are the same ones who don't work for themselves, don't own a home or a business, but get $15,000 and $20,000 tax refunds on a $50,000 salary. Their day is coming.

The last couple of years I have had everything ready to go but have waited until the last minute to fire the trigger. I don't know why I hesitate. I have never owed more taxes at 4/15 until last year so it's not like I'm avoiding the big payment, I am usually only putting off a nice-sized refund.

Admittedly, I am a procrastinator. I think in some distorted way I actually get a rush out of trying to pull off the tax filing at the last minute. It brings back memories of the 2 a.m. college report or the 6 a.m. PowerPoint.

Now, another year is done and it is over. Thank goodness.

I remember once driving down to the IRS HQ building in downtown DC with my parents so they could drop off their tax return by midnight on the 15th. We'd drive down Pennsylvania Avenue and sure enough at 11:50 p.m. the road was packed with cars and uniformly dressed workers with big plastic bins would be outside collecting tax forms to mark them ON TIME. in the 80's and 90's' more post offices used to open late hours so people could drop their forms at the latest hour and still get the April 15 cancellation stamp to avoid late fees and penalties. With people and preparers now filing online and avoiding the mail, the USPS decided not to stay open late this year. They said in response to demand, they didn't think the service was needed by the public anymore. Here's another change in era where now the deadline is driven to computer bandwidth in cyberspace instead of late night traffic lines at the Post Office.

What will you do differently this year to prepare for next year's tax time?

Here are things you should keep track of for your taxes:

Income
Form(s) W-2
Form(s) 1099
Bank statements
Brokerage statements
Form(s) K-1

Deductible Expenses
Sales slips
Invoices
Receipts
Canceled checks or other proof of payment

Home
Closing statements
Purchase and sales invoices
Proof of payment
Insurance records
Form 2119 (if you sold a home before 1998)

Investments
Brokerage statements
Mutual fund statements
Form(s) 1099
Form(s) 2439

What a Wondrous Time in Spring

2010-04-10T07:00:00.000-04:00

What a wondrous time in Spring

When all the trees are budding

The birds begin to sing

The flowers start their blooming

That's how it is with God's love
Once you've experienced it

You want to sing

It's fresh like Spring

You want to pass it on

[from the song Pass it On--Kurt Kaiser]

If you've never been to D.C. for the bloom of the cherry blossoms downtown, you have missed one of the most beautiful urban scenes in the United States.

Along with the cherry trees gifted to the United States from Japan, there are millions of Bradford Pears, dogwoods, and tons of other flowering trees sprouting their flowers around the first week of April. This April was the warmest first week of April ever in D.C. with two days above 90 degrees. Our average high about this time should be about 60 degrees. The average high temp for the week was 15 degrees above normal shattering the 2002 record of +11 over average. Thanks El Nino.

Along with the unusually warm weather came another record. Tree pollen. 1,500 is a very high pollen count and dangerous for allergy sufferers. We hit over 4,000 yesterday, April 8. This means even people who normally don't have problems with allergies are sniffling and sneezing. There is also the green dust on everyone's car which is a visual reminder of the millions of allergens you are inhaling and ingesting. Achoo!

Here are some pics. I didn't take them. The driving and parking situation was too crazy for me to get down this year. I borrowed one pic from Chandler Riley. The others were out on the web.

I Have a Bomb--No, I'm Just a Jerk

2010-04-09T05:37:00.007-04:00

With Facebook and Twitter, news now happens at a very rapid pace. While the plane was still in the air, many were alerted via tweets, texts, and status updates that there was an incident aboard a flight from Reagan National in DC to Denver, Colorado. United Airlines Flight 663 had reported trouble and Americans are still pretty jumpy whenever reports like that go out. Fighter jets were scrambled to the scene and caught up with the jet in mid-air.

The reports coming out were that someone on board was caught trying to ignite a shoe bomb, similar to Richard Reid of Christmas 2001 or the more recently failed underwear bomber, Nigerian Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. Just when we heard rumors of TSA relaxing the need to have people remove their shoes in the security check, now comes some nut to test the system. But was it a nutjob suicide bomber? Not this time.

Evidently Qatari Embassy worker Mohammed Al-Madadi was called by the beckon of nicotine. Despite the federal warnings by the flight attendants and numerous written warnings in the flight information and in the restroom, Al-Madadi slipped into the restroom for a smoke. As passengers smelled smoke and Al-Madadi was confronted, instead of confessing to his federal crime of smoking in a restroom, he says, "Oh, I was trying to light my shoe bomb." Needless to say this caused him to be pounced on by federal marshalls on board and the security protocols engaged like falling dominoes. The President was alerted, jets were scrambled, security guards started to lock down and evacuate terrorist interests.

To make a long story short, Al-Madadi is a diplomat from Qatar, a friendly country and therefore has diplomatic immunity to arrest and detainment. He basically gets to walk away and brush off his shoulders about the whole thing. I wonder if having diplomatic immunity caused him to answer so carelessly or if he was totally that oblivious as to the response his actions would cause. Reports did rumor today that Al-Madadi has been recalled to Qatar which means he will be re-assigned to another country or held in his home country. Hopefully, he gets some discipline from home since we can't give it to him. See ya Mohammed.

And BTW, NO, Al-Madadi does not look like my friend Ashish, but Ashish could play him in the Fox made-for-TV movie. Talk to your agent Ashish.

Big Gurl

2010-03-17T09:58:00.006-04:00

I have always been an advocate for people feeling comfortable inside their own skin. I believe the media and fashion industry has duped us into thinking only skinny people are beautiful and anyone 20 lbs. overweight is on a path to a slow and painful death.

The size of the average person in America has grown heartily over the last two decades as jobs have become more stationary and people have traded in plowing the field and grazing cattle to building websites and sending e-mails. I strongly believe that not all thin people are healthy and not all large, even obese people are unhealthy.

I think my friend Donna here has pushed the envelope even with me on my view on this. She has a goal to be the largest woman in the world. I am all for having goals too so even on that front, she is challenging my normal convention. I like donuts too, but dangggggg!

What do you think? Can a 1,000 lb. (half-ton) lady be healthy? Does she need an intervention? If she succeeds in her goal, will she kill herself and her boyfriend, a self-confessed chubby lover.

Miss Simpson, 42, from New Jersey, USA, already holds the Guinness World
Record as the world's biggest mum.
She was 520lbs when she had daughter
Jacqueline, three, becoming the largest woman to give birth.
Now she
weighs a mega 600lbs, or 43 stone, and hopes to break the 1,000lbs or half a ton
mark.
Miss Simpson, who wears XXXXXXXL dresses, eats whole cakes and bags of
donuts and tries to move as little as possible.
"I'd love to be 1,000lb,"
she said.
"It might be hard though. Running after my daughter keeps my
weight down."
She runs her own website where people pay to watch her eat, or
see her wash her huge body.
The cash helps fund the family's $750 a week
food shop, which Miss Simpson carries out in her mobility scooter.
She met
her partner Philippe, 49, seven years ago on a dating site for plus-size people.
Philippe, who weighs just 150lbs, is a self-confessed fat admirer, who will
only look at a woman if she weighs over 28 stone.
But Miss Simpson, who has
an older son Devin, 14, from a previous relationship, insists she's healthy.
"My favourite food is sushi, but unlike others I can sit and eat 70 big
pieces of sushi in one go," she said.
"I do love cakes and sweet things,
doughnuts are my favourite."

When Your Private Life Goes Public

2010-03-15T12:52:00.006-04:00

Reportedly, Senator John Edwards made this statement to his mistress about their relationship:

"Falling in love with you right now could really *&)(*& up my chances of becoming the next President."

Is that a line or what? Well, I guess it worked. She fell for it and it became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Yes, we were duped by another. So much potential from a person who has done so much, especially for the educational needs of poor kids in North Carolina.

It can't be that all politicians are lying cheats but the percentage must be really, really high if you calculate the probability based on the ones we find out.

Shaving While Driving

2010-03-09T09:15:00.004-05:00

So, I've seen dudes in the car with their electric shavers smoothing out the face on the way to work. This is a new take on shaving while driving.

Woman causes crash shaving bikini area while driving

Posted: March 9, 2010

KEY WEST: A woman shaving her bikini area while driving caused a car accident on Cudjoe Key, near Key West, according to a report in keysnews.com.
Troopers told the reporter that 37-year-old Megan Mariah Barnes was meeting
her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be properly groomed for the visit.
So during the drive, she decided to shave.
Her ex-husband, who was in
the passenger's seat, took the wheel while she focused on other areas, according
to the report.
The site also noted that Barnes was convicted of DUI and
driving without a license the day before the crash.
The vehicle she was
driving struck another car from behind, causing minor injuries to the occupants.
The report says she and her ex-husband drove another half-mile after the
crash and switched seats, so it looked like he was driving.
But burns on his
chest from the passenger-side airbag sank their story – since the site reports
the driver's airbag wasn't deployed by the impact.
Troopers charged Barnes
with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a
wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance.
A trooper told keysnews.com he thought
another incident in the same general area was the strangest traffic incident
he'd ever see – but this topped it.

I couldn't even rationalize the part about being in the car with her ex-husband while going to visit her boyfriend.

Chivalry is Not Dead

2010-03-08T09:40:00.006-05:00

This is a story I shared with my Facebook friends previously but as I passed by the location again today, I couldn't resist memorializing it here on the blog. [photo: Route 1 in Laurel, Maryland]

The picture above pretty much gives the viewpoint I witnessed this:

An unassuming, noble gentleman exited Starbucks on a cool morning sipping his fresh and steamy, hot and creamy latte. He paused in front of the door to sample his morning essential and at the same time lower the rim level so the hot beverage would not spill and splash while walking.

As he stood there, a middle-aged woman was making her way from the parking lot to the curb where he stood.

Anxious to prove chivalry was still very much alive and he was alert and in tune with his regality, he quickly reached for the door to ensure the approaching dame a more effortless entry.

His effort was met with the expression of disgust as the lady stopped dead in her tracks and gave the gentleman a once-over. From 20 feet away I'm sure I could almost hear her suck her teeth in abhorrence.

The gentleman either instinctively or oblivious, opened the door to the Jenny Craig Weight Loss Center instead of the door to Starbucks next door where she was headed.

Chivalry is not dead, but alas, a little inattentive.

Words of Wisdom from Ian $17

2010-03-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

"Oh man, that Easy Mac tastes so good.

I was just thinking about it today and having flashbacks."

The Mayor for Life, Marion Barry

2010-03-03T07:46:00.004-05:00

Marion Barry, Jr. is an icon of DC politics. Most people love him or hate him with not much middle ground. Smoking crack, cheating on his wives, getting pulled over with cocaine dust in his car, tax evasion, stalking women, DWI...this guy will not go down. He bounces back wash after wash much more than the super-band waist band made famous by Fruit of the Loom. He is indestructible.

Why do I say he cannot be destroyed? He gets away with the conspiracy card every time. Why? Because it is true. I think there are literally people in trench coats following him every day just waiting for him to slip up so they can tip police or a journalist. He knows this and he uses this to get sympathy from his constituents.

For those unfamiliar with DC city politics, Marion Barry, the infamous former mayor caught on tape in an FBI sting smoking crack cocaine while lured by a female associate, is now a member of the DC City Council. He was censured yesterday after being found awarding city contracts to his girlfriend and then driving her to the bank so she could cash the checks and give him the money. He says she owed him the money and he has broken no laws. The case is being referred to counsel for legal action but until then the censure has stripped him from his committee chairmanships. On local Fox News 5 this morning he says it is no big deal and he goes to work today just like any other day. He says he will work even harder for the people of the city.

Marion Barry is loved by people in the city for predominantly one reason. He represents an often unheard and ignored voice of the city. He represents the guy who is just "the guy" that lives down the street. People identify with him and continue to empower him because they feel underrepresented. People thought Fenty, the current thirty-something mayor may steal that role from Barry, but recent satisfaction polls show Fenty has failed miserably in that aspect.

What is your take on Marion Barry? Love him? Hate him? Does he embarrass you? Are you proud of him and what he represents?

Broad Branches on the Family Tree

2010-02-26T12:00:00.006-05:00

A short while ago I blogged how my great-grandfather [left] looked like Santa Claus and a strange thing happened.

A girl (hey Carolyn!) three-thousand miles away doing a Google search on her great-great grandfather came across the picture I had posted on my blog. She always thought he looked like Santa too and there you have it, two cousins who never met or heard of each other were found via Internet.

It is a bit of a stretch to say we never heard of each other because her uncle and my mom have met once and sort of know that each other exist but other than that meeting at a reunion a few years back, there hasn't been much contact. Isn't that cool?

Since then I have exchanged e-mails with her mother and her uncle and talked to my mom about it and we have shared some of the legendary stories. One of the good ones is how my Uncle Chubb, as he was called, would never talk much. He mostly grunted and pointed and had a very intimidating stare (especially to children). My mom tells me how he would eat biscuits with butter and have the butter dripping down both sides of his mouth. Chubb's sister, who is my grandmother that lived with me all my life growing up loved to talk. I expressed perhaps she made up for the talking her brothers didn't do. She loved to eat and she loved to talk and she often would do both at the same time because she didn't want either to stop. [picture: Frank Rice, Jr., Ola M. Johnson, Uncle Chubb]

Gram lived one month past her 100th birthday and I miss her and her stories. Any of my friends who met my grandmother remembers a special character in their life and in mine. My grandmother came to live with my parents shortly after her husband died which was sadly the same year my parents were married. At my parent's anniversary, my dad explains it this way, "'Well, she said she was coming for the weekend, and that was forty years ago."

Well, here's to finding and keeping in touch with more relatives over the Internet and e-mail. Shout out to the Rice descendants and special thanks to Ed (Tinkertoy) and Edgar Rice who have found all these connections. Feel free to share any stories or memories in the comments below.

[When this feed loads on Facebook, I will tag some relatives. Feel free to share any of your great family stories or memories and I will copy and paste them to the actial blog.]

When is Sugar Daddy Not So Sweet?

2010-02-21T05:20:00.007-05:00

Somewhere in the 70's to 80's it became common that two incomes were needed to run a household. Some have even questioned that the prosperous period of the 80's was driven more by greed than necessity as more women flooded into higher education and subsequently into the workplace. This caused a brief period where two-income houses only made it easier to buy more stuff rather than for necessity and basic survival. Of course this was only the opinion of the following generation judging the previous. These days more people agree two incomes are needed just for basic survival.

The DMV constantly ranks as one of the most expensive places in the country to live. This can be evidenced by the fact that a two-hour drive in any direction from DC can lower your housing cost by about 50%. Unfortunately, the income potential also drops though not at the same rate. Many trying to commute from West Virginia, Richmond, Pennsylvania and Delaware try to hit that sweet spot of balance between big DC salary and rural or non-Metro suburban low-cost living.

Whether in the single-income happy days of the 50's or the DINK (dual income no kids) days of the 80's we are still trained in our mindset it is the man's role to provide for the family. To provide means the basic necessities of living, food and a place to stay, even a vehicle perhaps. Is this still the picture? Is this still the man's role or is it more now a joint responsibility? How does this play out in a gay or lesbian couple? More educated women in the workforce and a current demand for professional women has led to more men staying at home or at least taking on more domestic responsibilities typically thought of as being "jobs" for the woman like cooking, raising the kids, cleaning the house, and grocery shopping.

So here's where I'm heading. You are a couple and your man loses his job. When does that job loss cross the line of breach or failure to provide for the family? Is it when lifestyle has to change? Is it when you need to move or give up a vehicle? Is it when the lifestyle of your kids is affected (clothes/schooling/activity participation)? Is it a number of months? Three months of unemployment is hard, but what about when it is six months or one year? Is your man a deadbeat? Is he failing to provide his basic responsibility? Is this economic impotence?

When does failure to provide give you enough reason to cut it off with this man and find another that can provide? That may sound harsh, but the single ladies who could have foreseen this ahead of time may not have chosen the relationship given the outcome.

What do you think?

Words of Wisdom from Ian #16

2010-02-16T13:53:00.006-05:00

Mom: Ian, do you know how to play Solitaire?

Ian: Huh?

Mom: The card game and computer game, Solitaire?

Ian: Oh, Solitary? Yeah, you mean the game for lonely people?

Shoveling Snow and Shoveling Pancakes

2010-02-11T08:03:00.012-05:00

If you caught my last blog, you know this week the DMV got pounded with record snowfall. We normally get 20-30 inches in a whole season and we got 30 inches in one storm last week. Then three days later we got pummeled with another 10-20 inches. The airport at Reagan National shattered the season snowfall record which has been on the books since 1899 which was 54 inches and record snow also at Marshall Baltimore-Washington airport with 79 inches of snow. I guess if you are from a snowy area up North this is laughable but this shut down our city for a whole week. Frederick, Maryland, one of our suburbs, can't even get emergency vehicles out so they are sending personnel out on snowmobiles to answer emergency calls.

So with a lot of time being snowed in we have had lots of home-cooked meals with the whole family. The other night we had pancakes. Yes, pancakes for dinner. It is actually a regular rotation for us either making them at home or heading out to the local IHOP. Let me go ahead and get it out of the way, International House of Pancakes has the best pancakes...PERIOD. If you don't think your IHOP has good pancakes, they are not making them right.

When it is not practical to be at IHOP, my wife makes one good batch of pancakes too. The other night, as I was wolfing down pancake #7 or so, the syrupy, buttery aroma took me back to my childhood. Man, I used to throw down on some pancakes back in the day. I cannot even hit near that now. I used to hit 9-10 full sized pancakes on the regular. Now, I'm lucky if I can finish two or three. The pancake guru for me growing up was my man Gerard. Gerard for all purposes is my cousin (technically, our relatives married each other somewhere down branch 4 on the family tree). G-man could destroy some pancakes. Every time we had a sleep-over we could count on hours of racing Matchbox (notice I'm holding a Matchbox in the photo) cars, playing or watching some football, and consuming mass quantities of pancakes. I think his record was about twenty-two. That is a lot of pancakes. Especially since he was probably about 13 or so when this was done. G-man, here's to you (dip in syrup and melted butter and into mouth).

[Above: Gerard in modern times]

Any pancake lovers out there? Let me hear it. How many could you chomp down then and now. If I get some responses, I may even include my wife's recipe secret to nice fluffy pancakes every time. Holla and stay warm.

For God's Snow Loved the World

2010-02-06T16:50:00.007-05:00

Oh yeah, it snowed.

Snowpocalypse. Snowmageddon. SNOWBAMA. Snowvechkin (for you Capitals fans. Snow business like show business.

So many didn't believe the hype. I didn't think it would be like the December storm when we got about 18 inches or so at my house. So what did we get? I'm thinking here in Scaggsville (North Laurel), Maryland we have between 27-30 inches.

We are waiting to see where this storm hits the peg in the top snow storms of all time in DC. The official count at Reagan National Airport is less that we have here in Howard County. The record of all time for official DC is 28 inches set back in 1922 which I think we have at my house. There is some 10 inches less at National so far making this storm about #5, but it is still snowing there a little so we will get the official word soon.

My wife's job is giving her a hard time about not coming into work today. She is an X-ray tech and works at the hospital where we realize life must go on and it is important. BUT, X-ray Techs are considered NON-ESSENTIAL personnel. The evening shift and night shift people have remained on and her supervisor has told her they really don't need the extra help but the hospital being #$%^ are taking names and tracking who called in and what reason they gave (uh, snow?). They were giving rides from volunteers with 4x4's but they have now called those off since even they are having trouble. The ride dispatcher thought she'd get one other dig in to my wife before informing her she couldn't get a ride by saying, "Well, you know it is still your responsibility to get to work for your shift." They were making threats after the December storm also but nothing happened. Hopefully, this time too it is just idle threats from people who lack compassion.

Impending Doom--Snow in the Mid-Atlantic

2010-02-04T04:07:00.006-05:00

So here we are 24+ hours out from the newest dubbed "storm of the century" in the DMV. That doesn't have quite the same impact when you are only 10 years into the new century. In December we got about 14 inches overnight. That is a huge storm by our standards as we have many whole winters where we don't add up to that much snow and we got it all in one shot.

Well, now the latest predictions are for debilitating snowfall. That is a new word used by Doug Hill at ABC affiliate WJLA 7 (who I won't link to in honor of my friend who got laid off from there). Doug is a seasoned meteorologist in our area and has been on TV since I was a kid. Since he also does the weather for the all-news radio station WTOP I listen to a lot, I consider him the "source" when it comes to weather.

He is saying most of the area will get 12-16 inches with some areas seeing up to 24 inches of snow. That is a lot of snow. It does depend on two storm systems colliding and us being right in the center of the collision but that's where the computer models are putting it so far so we will see what happens.

Stay tuned for the verdict. Our area is hard to predict for storms and last year we once got a prediction for 10 inches of snow and we didn't get any and just last week what was supposed to be a dusting and less than 1 inch at the last minute was changed and ended up as 5 inches.

I love the snow. I love to look at it fall, play in it, drive in it, even eat it. I do not like to shovel it (although it is one form of exercise that gives you immediate visual confirmation) or get it in my socks or underwear.

I have a snow blower that my dad keeps with him since he has a 4x4. He usually does his home first and then makes his way out to my house and my brother's house. We each live 15 miles out from him in different directions. Seems a bit hard on the old man but I think we inherited the loving snow from him.

Words of Wisdom from Ian #15

2010-01-20T16:39:00.000-05:00

Why does Louisiana have all the cool stuff?

They have, "Oh When the Saints Go Marching In",

"Who Dat?" and "Gumbo".

How come Mississippi doesn't have any of that?

Living the "Dream"

2010-01-19T14:58:00.007-05:00

No, this is not an Amway presentation. I know from the title some of my old MLM cronies probably got all excited and thought an invitation would be following to invite you to a special presentation for a unique business opportunity.

This time I'm not talking about living my dream but the dream of someone else. The Amway Diamonds (those with established success and wealth) used to warn if you were not living for your own dream, you were helping someone else attain their dream by working for them. In that scenario, living someone else's dream is not reasoned to be a good thing. The dream I'm talking about living is that of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and this is a reasonably good thing.

I spent the close of MLK Day at my Uncle's house in Southeast, DC. Uncle Bobbie is my father's twin brother and since he also lives in DC, Uncle Bobbie's family and ours are certainly the closest of my dad's five other siblings. I am on the younger side of the siblings' children and some of their children are actually much closer to me in age but between the three generations, we have grown up around each other since our parents moved here in the late 50's. This visit to Uncle Bobbie's was different though. We didn't come for a cookout or someone's birthday or to cheer someone who was sick, this visit was to meet a special guest.

This special guest was going to appear on a television show and had asked Uncle Bobbie if he could come over and watch it with him. Uncle Bobbie had agreed and let me and my dad know so we agreed to join in on the engagement. We weren't so much interested in the show, as I for one, didn't even know what the show was about or why we were watching it. I did know it would feature something in relation to our family history. We were much more interested in meeting the guest, whom my uncle and father had met before but me and my cousins had not.

The special guest was Chandler Battaile who had moved to the DMV a few years ago from the South. What made Chandler unique and his visit curious enough to draw my family in from 30 miles away was his unique connection to our family. Somewhere around 150 years ago, my great-great grandfather, Silas Chandler, was a slave owned by Chandler Battaile's family (The Chandlers) in West Point, Mississippi. We were going to watch TV with a descendant of our Silas' slave owner.

Chandler was bright and courteous and very charismatic and with my family that made him fit right in and feel welcomed. My father and my uncle have a trait that I truly hope is genetically passed down that allows them to engage anyone and put them at ease. And so, Chandler found himself among a handful of descendants of Silas Chandler, a man who according to the legend, saved the limb, if not the life of his great-great grandfather, Andrew Martin Chandler.

I have blogged about the story of Andrew and Silas before so I won't go into that detail here but the video clip featuring Chandler explains it very well. Turns out we were watching an episode of "Antique Roadshow" and Chandler was getting an insurance appraisal for the original photgraph above with his ancestor Andrew and our ancestor Silas in civil war military uniform.

I hope someone reading this teaches me how to imbed "stolen" video clips into my blog, but until then, here is the link to the archive page, just click to watch the video to fill in the blanks.

Where does Martin Luther King's dream come in? As we were leaving the house, I turned to my first cousin Bobbie and pointed out what a perfect way to spend MLK Day. Here is what Dr. King envisioned over 40 years ago:

"...I have a dream that some day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave-owners will sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day
even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice."

So there it is. I'm sure there were lots of thoughts going through everyone's mind who was present. But this day, these sons of Mississippi sat in a room just as gentlemen do and enjoyed each others company, one step closer to fulfilling the dream. The oasis is not yet found, but this was a thirst-quenching drink.

Solid Lines and Turn Signals

2010-01-10T08:15:00.013-05:00

Every now and then there is something in the world of traffic that moves me to write. Or in other words, it makes me mad. I have a few blogs here about driving (See keyword crash). I also had a post, not too long ago, about people's blatant disregard for emergency vehicles in their failure to move out of the way or yield to the flashing lights and blaring siren.

I am no authority on traffic rules. Wait...didn't I take an examination on traffic law that gives me a permit to drive? Maybe we are all supposed to be experts. I know that is not likely, but there are some rules we need to pay more attention to for our own good. I'm just taking some time here to educate so when I flip you the birdie after you almost run me over you will at least have a clue why I did it. I am of course using "you" in the generic sense and probably none of you reading this has actually cut me off...if so I would not tell you any way.

That reminds me also that once my wife was driving and a speeding driver did not want to allow enough room for her to get in. After making her move and seeing the other driver get visibly upset, she realized it was our pastor. I won't say when this occurred so the pastor's identity is protected. There was no exchange of birdies or physical gestures, thank goodness.

Anyway....back to the discussion. I'm no expert, but I did have drivers education from a traffic law icon, Jerry Ontko. Whatever Jerry said in class and showed us on the road is the law. I haven't found one thing yet that he taught with ambiguity or false information. He took his job very seriously. This was evidenced by the fact that he taught drivers education at various schools and privately in the Maryland area for over 140 years. He was only about 70-ish during my era. Still in his prime. [shout out to the Jerry Ontko class of Fall '84 at TA]

Here is the traffic law revelation of the day: In theory...SOLID LINES SHOULD NOT BE CROSSED. I know, it is profound. You are scanning your windshield perspective memory banks to see if that jives. Dotted lines on the road indicate where your car may cross or drive with caution, but solid lines, even single solid white lines, are not supposed to be crossed. That means if you're in a lane and your line turns solid...you have run out of time to get in my lane. The case where this is most often ignored and pisses off (my Mom hates that expression) other drivers is approaching a turn where one lane is forced to turn or exit the main road. This also means if I am in my solid line lane minding my own business, you cannot try to come into my lane. You have to run off on your own and figure out how to get back to where you need to be.

This got so bad at I-495 and New Hampshire Avenue North at Hillandale that they had to shorten the solid line so so many drivers would not be blatantly disobeying the law every day many times right in front of cops placed there to stop it. Please think about this next time you are exiting Pennsylvania Ave in S.E. to go North on 295 or exiting 175 in Columbia to make that right turn to Costco or at Silver Spring 29 South to I-495. The really long white solid line means there is usually a long line of cars waiting to turn there...SO DON'T CUT IN. It's your cutting in that doubles and triples the wait time to take the exit. Yes, your obeying the law may take a little longer but if we did a better job to realize most traffic rules (except the speed limit) actually aid in traffic moving faster and better for the whole. It is not just ALL ABOUT YOU (the biggest traffic problem in all Metro areas).

And use your turn signals for goodness sake. Especially if you're about to do something moronic. It at least alerts those around you as to who you plan on plowing over first. I know, like seatbelts I used to think using turn signals was not cool and rather dorky. Then, while not using a seatbelt one day, my shoulder went through a windshield. I have since paid more attention to drivers safety issues.

Words of Wisdom from Ian #14

2009-12-27T13:31:00.005-05:00

Ian on wrestling: "Who wants to see a bunch of men fight in their underwear?"

Don't Save it All for Christmas Day

2009-12-24T13:36:00.008-05:00

Many of you regulars on our Christmas mailing list are starting to realize the Chandler Christmas letter has been missing. I thought I would gear up enough energy to write it this year, but finding the cheery words to recap our year is still as much a challenge this year as it was for 2008. I didn't want the letter to be filled with doom and gloom so I resisted writing anything at all. I also long wanted to go green with this letter and get rid of some of the paper and postage. This was hard as some of my older recipients aren't yet online.

As 2009 nears a close I couldn't hold back sharing something since despite the challenges to health and wealth, we still have been blessed with so many things. This letter was never about bragging on only the good things but to give friends and family near and far a chance to check in and see where we are and what we are up to. So, I'll try that. If the Chandler Christmas Letter is new to you, feel free to check out the archives. While you are there you can also download me singing a couple of Christmas tunes.

One of my long-standing resolutions has been to read more. This past year I have finally started to do better with that thanks to Swini. Along with reading came writing more so I also started a blog in 2009 called DC 2 Scaggsville. You can link there from the website www.haroldchandler.com or go directly to http://dc2scaggsville.blogspot.com . The blog is just collections of my thoughts from news and politics to national and DC area interests. You can find some of my opinions on The Cheesecake Factory, Southern poetry, Black Santas, fathers, Memorial Day, the Balloon Boy, etc. I would love for you to come by and check it out. I would greatly appreciate you leaving some comments on my thoughts and becoming a frequent reader or subscriber. I typically only post about once a week or so at the most so it is not a great burden. The blog also has its own recurring feature called "Words of Wisdom from Ian." These are actual things said by our 9-year old son Ian that caused me to pause and take note. Sometimes the perspective of a young boy is a refreshing purview into life's perplexing phases. On the blog, if you click "wisdom" in the topic list, that should bring up some of Ian's great insights.

Ian is having a good time this year in third grade at Atholton Adventist Academy. He is still very much into hunting and fishing and anything outdoors. Now if you know Swini and I you just scratched your head wondering where did he get that from? I'm not sure, but it certainly is being fueled by his Uncle Jerry, who loves hunting and fishing and Swini's uncle, Mervyn who takes him on almost weekly excursions to Bass Pro Shop's Outdoor World to build up excitement. If you don't have an Outdoor World near you, just imagine an outdoor store the size of some town malls. It's not just talk for him too, this past year he fired a gun for the first time and got help reeling in a 45-inch rockfish as big as him. For sure Ian's favorite color is camouflage--and he would even specify Mossy Oak camouflage. Ian is also starting to get into sports more now playing floor hockey at school and football. Some of the "old block" must have chipped away as he has declared himself a Dallas Cowboy fan and loved getting his Tony Romo jersey for his birthday which he frequently wears on game day for good luck.

Jasmine turned 13 this year and all the fear and anticipation of having a gorgeous teenage daughter is coming to light (hey Ian, pick up some more shot gun shells from Outdoor World!). She is still playing violin and is in seventh grade this year at Atholton. Jasmine got to travel to Florida in July to play with her violin group which was her first big trip away from home by herself. She didn't mind at all. A few months later, she travelled to Oshkosh, Wisconsin for the World Pathfinder Camporee. Pathfinders are a co-ed scouting group in our worldwide church and this event included 35,000 kids 10-16 from all over the world which they try to do every five years. It was a once in a lifetime event and we are proud she was able to attend. We are also proud her club has recognized her two years in a row as Pathfinder of the Year for her positive attitude and always helping out whenever she can. She is very independent and helps us out around the house and taking care of Ian and our nieces Maya and Tahlia during the week. She has a natural knack for cooking and will effortlessly raid the pantry and throw some things together to please the palate. Ian is usually the willing patron of her delectables. We also really learned this year she is a natural artist and can draw very well. Click here to see two of her pencil drawings of Michael Jackson.

We are very happy for so many friends and family that we have re-connected with on Facebook. We were very leery about social networking and long resisted, especially in the MySpace era. We are glad we signed up and found all of you and found an easy way to communicate whether near or far.

We hope this letter finds you well and we are very thankful for you in our lives. I especially want to thank all of you who held me in special prayer as I was fighting to keep my vision. As I said in the opening, it has been a year of challenges and we remain blessed and victorious by God's grace. We appreciate hearing from you, receiving your calls and letters and cards and continue to include your individual challenges in our prayers so you too can get a little help attaining victory.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

How could you wait another minute
A bug is warmer when you're in it
And Baby that's a fact
And saying "I love you's" always better
Seasons, reasons, they don't matter
So don't hold back
How many people in this world
So needful in this world
How many people are praying for love
Don't save it all for Christmas Day
Find a way
To give a little love everyday
Don't save it all for Christmas Day
Find your way
Cause holidays have come and gone
But love lives on
If you give on
Love...

I Don't Care What the White Man Say...

2009-12-14T11:38:00.010-05:00

My wife asked me a question the other day and I had to think about it a while. She asked, "Does it bother you when Santa is portrayed in different races/nationalities?" This was a perplexing thought for me the longer I thought about it. If you are White and you see a Black Santa Claus, you probably have an entirely different reaction as someone who is Black and sees a Black Santa. It is also probably different if you are Black but grew up in the Caribbean or Ethiopia or if you grew up in D.C. or Harlem. Is it strange to see a Santa with Asian or East Indian features? Can Santa be Filipino or Assamese? Does it make you laugh or does it make you smile or does it make you mad or uncomfortable? What if you are German? Do you feel totally like Santa is being unnecessarily modified because of course Santa Claus is German, you can tell by the name, right? Maybe not.

As a kid growing up I remember very early singing a tune with a Jamaican accent, "I Don't Care What the White Man Say, Santa Claus is a Black Mon." Because I knew the tune, I'm sure it must have been a real song by somebody. But then again, my sister will make up a song or modify a tune with little or no effort. There was another song by Akim and the Teddy Vann Production Company called, "Santa Claus is a Black Man" which is a different song but kinda paints the same picture. I think the Akim and Teddy Vann version with a kid singing was more of a take off from young Michael Jackson singing, "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." BTW, the Jackson 5 Christmas album is probably my most favorite Christmas album of all time. In my own experience, I think it made me happy to see a Black Santa Claus. In a time when we didn't see many dark faces portrayed on anything commercially, the thought of Santa being Black gave me something to relate to and find identity in a peculiar void.

Is it wrong to want Santa to look like you? To have somebody to identify with? Well, this kinda stretches Santa's impact, doesn't it? And I think that's just it. We have painted our image of Santa from poems and songs and made him jolly and European and hefty, etc. Truly, we don't even remember what Santa really looked like. The real St. Nicholas of Myra whom the legends seem to be built from looked like this:

These are early (18th/19th Centry) Russian depictions of St. Nicholas. Yes, his skin is much darker than you thought it would be, isn't it? Nicholas of Myra was of Turkish (Asia Minor) descent and lived in the late 3rd to early 4th Century. Like images of Jesus Christ and Mary, his mother, artists have shaped our image of what these icons look like over the years so much so that we have really lost touch with what the actual person may have looked like.

My conclusion is these images have become iconic and grown into legend themselves. The clothes or the actions have transcended the ages to bring us a transformational image of Santa Claus. What he looked like is no longer important. What he did and how he touched the hearts of those he came into contact with is what has made the "Sinterklaas" extend beyond time itself.

In my parents house we have a picture of my great-grandfather, Frank Rice, Sr. and I always thought he was Santa Claus when I was growing up. I'm sure for a few years I was quite proud to know that I was related to the "real" Santa Claus and his picture in our living room was a family trophy we were all proud of. I guess as long as Santa still finds my chimney when I've been a good boy, it doesn't matter what he looks like.

But for the record, little Akim was right, Santa Claus was a Black man.

Crash...and Burn

2009-12-08T11:08:00.005-05:00

Crashing big parties is nothing new, right? We see it in the movies all the time. If you are smart and you look smashing in a tuxedo or evening gown, you are destined to get in and hob-knob with the aristocracy.

Countless times we watched James Bond stroll up in his Aston Martin or car of the day with gun in tote and just walk in anywhere he wanted to be because he looked smashing and he could pull it off. He never even gave a fake name as if to announce his arrogance and expected people would just want him to be there because he was dashing. And evidently he was right, even the criminal master minds destined to steal weapons of mass destruction to destroy the world were just a little too pleased to see Mr. Bond crash their private poker tables and grimace as he walked away with their chips, their martini's (did you ever see him pay?) and even their women.

Arnold Schwarzenegger crashed in "True Lies" and he got to tango with Tia Carrere. I mean if I had the chance to tango with Tia, I would don an Armani and rent a vintage Porsche too just share that rose stem. I mean you gotta play the part. And ladies, tell the truth, wouldn't you do anything for a chance to actually wear that gown and be seen? It does no good in the closet or still on the rack at Freda's Boutique and Couture.

Nicholas Cage as Benjamin Gates crashed in "National Treasure" and not only got to swoon his lady, but walk off with the original U.S. Constitution so he could spy an invisible map on the back. He not only did it once, but also donned his tuxedo again in "National Treasure II-Book of Secrets." He not only got past the Secret Service and got to meet the President, he enticed the President to go for a stroll on the grounds of Mt. Vernon where he fooled the security detail, kidnapped the President, and persuaded him to tell him where the Presidential secret diary was--and was able to walk away without one bullet whole piercing his skull or rib cage (I would imagine Secret Service would shoot to kill in such a situation).

Well, Tareq and Michaele Salahi probably did not want to kidnap President Obama and find out where his diary was, but boy did they have an urge to get into that State dinner with the Prime Minister of India. And boy, were they smashing. I don't think I've ever seen a White girl look so good in a lehenga choli--at least not since the Cheetah Girls went to India. Why did they have to get there so bad? I mean what was the deal with the "alleged" invitation? I actually believed at first there was some mix up with the invitation and they thought they were supposed to be there. My cousin was mayor of D.C. for two terms and often my father or some representative from the Mayor's office would give me a call or send an e-mail and invite us to some dinner or outing and we never had an invitation. So, I know this can happen. We would simply state we were family of the mayor when we arrived and all was smooth. Eventually, we even knew who the undercover security detail officers were and would give them the nod as if to get the mental check-off from their curiosity meter when we entered the room. I guess anyone could say they were relatives of the mayor and to the same thing. At least we were related to Mayor Williams. I'm sure this was an easy stunt when Marion Barry was mayor because who would say they were related to him if they really weren't?

I don't see what the big deal is about crashing. People do it all the time in this town and some are very good at it. In fact, like the Salahi's some do it so often they are now recognizable with the crowd and everyone expects they should be there. They still went through a security check and I presume were checked for weapons. Security around the President should be the best in the world and surely we learned from this experience that our Secret Service is not performing at top notch these days. That does concern me, but I don't really blame the Salahi's.

Don't you wonder though who turned them in? Was it some reporter flipping through the guest list frustrated because everyone was hugging these two and taking pictures and they had no idea who the heck they were? Was it White House Staffer #8 who's job it is to whisper into the President's hidden earpiece any time someone approaches that the President should know? We know it was not the Secret Service's discovery since it was pointed out to them the next day which they then verified by hacking the Salahi's Facebook account and raiding their photos.

Whoever it was with the vendetta to expose the Salahi's surely got more than what they bargained for as the skeletons have started to pour out of this cedar-lined closet. Now we know the Salahi's owe thousands of dollars to creditors and service providers everywhere. Their landscaper has taken them to court, Montgomery County Maryland is owed over $13,000 from a check for liquor that bounced (that's a lot of booze), and now we have learned they have businesses and charities that are in debt, if not fraudulent and the stories keep coming and coming. They have been exposed BIG TIME and all their dirty laundry is out in the wind for everyone to get a whiff. I must say it is a little stinky so far.

In the movie "Wedding Crashers," Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson play a couple of guys who have nice jobs and make a great living but make it a hobby to think up exotic occupations and crash big weddings of the wealthy and famous with the sole purpose of womanizing the eligible single ladies at the reception.

The more prominent the targets are, the more points they score in their game. Who cares? There is lots of food and Vince and Owen certainly brought life to the parties they crashed. They usually left the wedding guests, and even for a while, their romantic targets applauding and wanting for more.

Is 15 minutes of fame that important? It is believed the Salahi's were going to work their appearance at the White House into their then-pending reality TV show. I wrote once that if you have to lie for a "reality show," chances are you have no integrity left.

The people at these parties are usually accomplished people who have contributed greatly to society and getting an audience with them without being one of them is a gift itself. A gift is something made to be given and not stolen. When it is stolen, it is not yours even when you have it in your hands. I am all for dreaming big dreams and surrounding yourself with people you want to be like and learning from mentors, etc. But don't steal the gift. Don't try to make us think you are something you are not. Your word and your integrity are much more important in this life than 15 minutes of fame or 15 days of shame. How will your little white lie impact the world around you?

I'd rather be broke and unknown and still have my integrity and my word in tact. Care to tango?

Thankfulness in the Face of Scorn

2009-11-25T07:47:00.003-05:00

Thankfulness in the face of scorn

Thankfulness in the face of scorn

Still better to have been born

To strive, to seek, to dream acclaim

My laurel still awaits me to win this game

This harvest not as good as the next

My ox and my cart are wearily perplexed

The pictures of baskets full of fruit

I was told they were real when young and astute

The books and theorists assuredly pointed the way

It was so black and white then and now is so grey

Destinations were mapped by the dot and the star

Which way do you go when not sure where you are

My pockets more empty, my cupboards more bare

Rejoicing with savor some plunders are there

The morsels and sundries how meager they rest

Seem always enough, five loaves that were blessed

My robes not yet purple, but not tattered nor old

They adorn me precisely and protect me from cold

Even those who seem they have finished the race

Have scars from the battle and lines on their face

So I glance at my map and start out again

Thankful I’m farther than others have been

There are mountains ahead and face them I must

The summit beckons me and rewards me I trust

(photo: Weary Traveler by Nola Deffenbaugh)

Words of Wisdom from Ian #13

2009-11-21T22:01:00.006-05:00

"Dad, what if you take money and then copy it?

Can you make more money? Is it illegal?"

Connected

2009-11-15T19:18:00.000-05:00

I was thinking today about technology. We seldom take time to pause and note where we are on the human progression timeline.

I'm writing this on my BlackBerry thinking how fast things can fly through cyberspace.

I could be anywhere in the world (not in the left lane of the Beltway as the pic would suggest) with cell coverage and send this message from my phone. This message then will post to my blog. Subscribers to my blog or readers may get this through their browser, iGoogle home page, Google Reader, e-mail, RSS feed or other ways I haven't thought of and then even to their cell phones. It may be then placed as a link on other blogs and recycled. Also when this posts, that will push out an RSS feed to Facebook and post this as a note in Facebook and people will see it as a news feed item or a post on my wall.

When you read this, post a comment to tell me how you received it. I'm anxious to see how my little post from my phone reaches your world and the different ways people get information.

Best regards.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Eyes Have It: Part II

2009-11-06T15:44:00.010-05:00

{This post is a continuation from "The Eyes Have It: Part I" }

It didn't take long for Dr. Boles to confirm I had glaucoma. The visual field test spoke volumes. If you've never had a visual field test, it is looking into a dark chamber while white dots of light appear all over the field of view. As they appear, you click a joystick button. The dots of light vary in position as well as intensity and they paint a striking picture of just what range your eye can see--left, right, up and down.

I asked how this could happen to me being only 37 at the time with no family history of glaucoma. He said while it was unusual for my case to develop so fast, it was not that rare for someone my age to develop the disease. I still don't know what that means (1 in 200 under age 50). I guess "rare" to him would mean he hadn't seen it before. Another thing more rare in my case is that glaucoma is usually detected by regular eye exams well before there are any symptoms and certainly before one notices losing any vision. I already had impaired vision and here's the kicker, the doctor also informed me eye damage from glaucoma is damage directly to the optic nerve and that damage is permanent and irreversible. Another strange thing to me was it was only my left eye with the problem. My right eye seemed to be perfectly fine both for vision and for eye pressure (intraocular pressure). The doctor kept asking if I remembered being injured in that eye at any time in my life as it could have resulted from an injury years ago.

The typical treatment for glaucoma is pretty straight-forward and simple. There are really only four levels of treatment. The first starts with drops. My eye pressure was so high when I visited the first doctor, she started me on drops right away. Dr. Boles even gave me more drops to bring down the pressure in his office before he thought it was safe for me to leave. On the next visit, the eye pressure still had not come down enough, so we needed to move to the next step which is the SLT. Selective Laser Trabeculoplasty (SLT) for the treatment of primary open angle glaucoma (POAG) uses a laser at low levels to basically drill holes into the trabecular meshwork of your eye to try to reduce the intraocular pressure.

We did that and it lowered the pressure only slightly. It would be time to move on the next step which was a more invasive surgery. We needed to schedule a trabeculectomy. In a trabeculectomy, or glaucoma filter procedure, an opening is made within the eye that allows fluid to leave the eye and travel underneath the conjunctiva, the clear membrane that covers the surface of the eye. If you didn't catch that, they were going to cut a whole onto my eye and put in a bleb or filter which would create a new path for fluid to drain in the eye. And yes, this procedure is done while you are awake with only local anesthesia. So I started with tons of different eye drops, had one laser-type surgery, and now, they are ready to cut me in the eyeball? What did I do to deserve this?

The operation was a success AND a failure. The physiological value of the surgery is to reduce the eye pressure to protect the optic nerve. That part worked. The failure? Well, remember I said any damage already done to the optic nerve is permanent? My vision in that eye did not improve. Because the vision is limited, that also throws off my depth perception so it is very hard to see exactly how close or far objects are. This makes some things challenging, like parallel parking, pouring a drink into a glass, golf (forget that one), catching a ball or anything thrown at me. In addition to my vision not improving, my eye had shifted about 45 degrees because it cannot focus on anything strong enough to keep it in proper position. So, I not only have severely impaired vision in my left eye, but now I'm frickin' cross-eyed (see pic below)? What else could go wrong? NEVER ASK THAT QUESTION.

Fast-forward two years to December 2008 and then things would get scary once more. I woke one morning near Christmas time and I could not see well out of my right eye. The GOOD eye. Things were very dim--that's the best way I can describe it. It was almost like trying to see through a frosted windshield (like picture of tree above). I could see shapes and colors, but nothing was clear. I had regular appointments checking both eyes and this just suddenly popped up out of the blue--I guess just like the left eye did two years earlier. I rushed to the doctor that afternoon and my eye pressure was so high, I again had to be put on drops right away and they even had to give me oral medication to bring down the pressure before they would let me leave. I hated the oral meds because it altered my sense of taste. All soda tasted flat and many things tasted strangely different and sometimes metallic. How high was the pressure? Well, normal intraocular pressure is a range between 10 and 21 mmHg. I was at 49 mmHg and this was after drops to bring down the pressure. I actually had a physical feeling like something was in my eye (can eyeballs explode?).

I was now losing vision in my "good" eye. I would now need to go through the same steps with my right eye and I was quickly scheduled for an SLT for the right eye this time. Just as with the left eye, the SLT did not lower the pressure to a safe range so there would need to be another trabeculectomy. There is a dark fear about having eye surgery on the eye you can see with when you know you cannot rely on the other eye any longer. For days after the surgery while healing, I would be technically blind. I would have to go with it. Not doing the surgery would be sure damage to my optic nerve with pressure that high. So, despite being at a new job and about to start the annual audit, the most important time of year for someone in non-profit finance, I had to opt for emergency surgery with a new doctor. My previous doctor had left the practice so I found a new specialist I liked very much, Dr. Alan Robin.

Because the situation was monitored closely, the surgery was again a success. My vision in my right eye is not perfect, but it is functional and I can drive and work and read and do most things normally. I can't see well from far away, especially people. I cannot read small road signs from the distances I used to (don't tell the cops), especially street name signs. GPS has helped with that immensely. If you come up on my left side unannounced, you are likely to scare the hell out of me. Other than that, the drama is over for now. No more drops and my eye pressures are well within the normal range (11-14 mmHg).

I thank all of you who have been helping me through this. Many of you offered prayers and well wishes and good vibes and positive energy and whatever you could do to wish the best for me. That is greatly appreciated.

Make sure you take care of your eyes. Get check-ups regularly. Make sure you get the "puff" test and make sure the tech administers it correctly. If you suspect anything in your vision is not right, ask about it. If the optometrist does not give you the answers you like, find your nearest ophthalmologist. If you have reached that magic age of 40 and never seen an ophthalmologist, it may be a good idea to check in with one. There are lots of eye conditions to check and monitor other than glaucoma and as we age, these things become more and more important. My eyes have it. Try to take care of yours.

My doc used to have some great FAQs on his website but they seem to be gone now. There is lots of info on the web. Check it out, or ask me if you have questions. Here are some things I've learned about glaucoma over the last couple of years:

Glaucoma is not affected by diet (despite what you've heard in the past)

Caffeine has no effect on glaucoma or intraocular pressure

It usually runs in families

African-Americans are more susceptible to the disease (6x to 8x more likely than Caucasians)

There is no connection between high intraocular pressure and high blood pressure

Those with diabetes often have problems with glaucoma although the link is not clear

Marijuana does help reduce eye pressure but the other effects of marijuana far outweigh the positive effects of smoking marijuana

Being hit in the eye can cause glaucoma/increased eye pressure

Excessive eye pressure is a medical emergency and cannot be put off

Damage to the optic nerve is permanent
Depth perception accounts for a lot more than we give credit to
After cancer and heart disease, blindness is America's 3rd top health fear

The most important lesson I learned is that my wife is incredible. She was there from the first eye drop to the first face I saw when the bandages were removed and the light beamed back in. She drove me to and from work 25 miles each way in heavy traffic every day for two months while my sight slowly made its way back. We said in sickness and in health and for richer and for poorer and we are testing the fringes of all those elements it seems. Thank you Swinitha for being the ultimate wife, cook, chauffeur, nurse, seeing eye-dog (I mean that with compassion) counselor, cheerleader, and friend.

The Eyes Have It: Part I

2009-11-06T14:07:00.002-05:00

While driving at night I especially noticed it was harder and harder to read signs and see clearly. It had been two years since my last eye appointment and maybe it really was time for new glasses. If I closed one eye, I noticed it was even much more blurry than the other eye. I have worn glasses since age 15 and being slightly near sighted really only needed glasses in the beginning to drive and see the blackboard from far away (to younger audiences, a blackboard was a hard, stone-like surface in the classroom to write on with a white cylindrical piece of compressed powdered chalk. Much like a whiteboard).

As I got older, I needed the glasses more and more but still could function well without them. Well into my thirties, I'd even say I could survive driving without them, but it was much more clear with them. But, suddenly at thirty-eight, there was more difficulty seeing than noticed before. Now most people take that moment and decide to make an appointment to have their eyes checked. For me, I still put it off for a while because it was nothing urgent. One evening at work loading a box onto a dolly cart, the handle of the dolly sprung to my face cracking my glass frames in half. Now, I decided, was a good time to go to the eye doctor.

It was the typical optometrist appointment. The assistant sat me down for the dreaded "puff test" for glaucoma. The first blast, I thought she got me before I blinked, but she looked puzzled and said, "Let's do that again." She fired again, but I blinked, then two more times, dag nabbit...finally she got me again with the eyes open and she had a look of satisfaction. The optometrist did her thing, "which is better 1 or 2, 1...or 2?" and now 7 or 8....7?...8? or are they about the same?" She was striking in her appearance...an attractive African-American woman with long, straight, blond hair. You would remember that, right? I mentioned to her I was having difficulty with blurriness and especially one of my eyes watering excessively. She said everything looked fine and maybe to try some natural tear drops to help with the watering. Next, I picked out the coolest "Mack Daddy" frames I thought I could get away with...the kind with the magnetic clip-on shades attachment, and I was out the door. In about an hour, of course. I had to wait for them because my only pair of glasses were snapped in half by an angry dolly cart.

I picked up some drops at the local CVS and sported my new glasses, but they were taking a little longer than usual to get used to. I was accustomed to a day or two of stepping higher than the step and images looking much too oval in their shape, but this was different. It seemed after two weeks with the new glasses, I still had blurry vision and it was not much better at night than when I first had the concern before visiting the eye doctor.

This worried me a bit and I decided to set an appointment with the ophthalmologist...Yes, the "real eye doctor." The one with the M.D. I scanned my online health care directory for the closest "Ophthal" that would take my insurance and I had an appointment set. I told the doctor my issues and she seemed a little annoyed that I was wasting her time. She wasn't very friendly. As we got further into the exam, I started to get worried. I guess it was when she asked me, "Mr. Chandler, are you paying attention? Do you understand what you are doing?" I was just supposed to click the button when I saw the white light...it wasn't rocket science. I wasn't seeing anything so I wasn't clicking the button. To make a long appointment short, it ended with her telling me I had the signs of someone with advanced stage glaucoma and I needed to see a specialist right away. To kick my concern up a notch, she pulled out her Rolodex and started to call specialists that could see me in the next day or so...wow, she did mean right away. Sure enough, I had an appointment set for two days later with a local glaucoma specialist in Baltimore for a second opinion to confirm glaucoma.

I didn't know much about glaucoma. I thought it was the eye disease for old people. I thought I had heard: that African-Americans were more susceptible to it; people with diabetes would often get it; it dealt something with eye pressure and losing peripheral vision; you could get medical marijuana for it; there was a high rate of success in treatment.

What if I was going blind? Was this possible? Was Ellen G. White right? Wasn't I too young for this? What caused this? Diet, vitamins, bilberry, exercise, coffee...so many things running through my mind. What to do?

{to be continued in The Eyes Have It: Part II...}

To Terrorize Y'all's Neighborhood

2009-11-01T12:35:00.007-05:00

Here's just a few pics from my kids from Halloween.

The Thriller and the Killer.

Michael Jackson:

Civil War Soldier:

(why a confederate? it's in the blood? long story)

Signs You've Been Out of Work Too Long

2009-10-30T10:01:00.007-04:00

Top 10 Signs You Have Been Out of Work Too Long

10. You have evolved from the goatee to the full beard

9. You can't remember the last time you picked up something from the Dry Cleaners

8. Your water bill is noticeably lower from taking fewer showers

7. You know who Wendy Williams is

6. By the evening news, you know the lead stories better than the news anchors

5. Your friends and relatives no longer invite you out to restaurants for dinner (so they won't have to pick up the tab)

4. The unemployment check you used to laugh at is suddenly a boatload of money

3. Wal-mart! It's the new Macy's

2. Careerbuilder and Monster are offering you frequent-flyer miles

1. You click the remote for your BMW and there's no response

Relatively Speaking

2009-10-27T09:53:00.013-04:00

There's an old saying that says you can't choose your relatives which is true. I am related to some amazing people. Some of them have even left or are leaving quite an impact on the larger society. Here is a list of some of my folks I just wanted to share with you and say I am very proud to be related to. I was going to write elaborate stories on each, then I realized with this type thing, people just want to see the picture, who they are and move on.

Probably one of my most renowned relatives, Anthony A. Williams.

Tony was appointed by President William J. Clinton as the first Chief Financial Officer for the Department of Agriculture under Secretary Mike Espy. After a brief service in that role, he was appointed by the Washington, DC Control Board and Mayor Marion Barry as Chief Financial Officer of Washington, D.C. He subsequently campaigned for office and served for two terms as Mayor of Washington, D.C. He is currently a businessman still living in Washington, D.C.

Tony's mother, Virginia Hayes-Williams and my mother are first cousins.

The powerhouse celebrity couple, Marc Clarke and Allison Seymour. Marc Clarke, Baltimore radio and TV personality and former host of the Marc Clarke BigPhatMorningShow. Marc is working on his next big business venture while on a mission to lose 100 lbs (WOW, go Marc!!). Marc is married to WTTG-Fox DC 5 morning news anchor, Allison Seymour.
Marc is my first cousin.

Ann Gregory [pictured above with boxing champion, Joe Louis] was a pioneer athlete in tennis and in golf and was one of the first Black Female Professional golfers. I remember being a boy and meeting her the first time at her home in Gary, Indiana. She took me to her trophy room which was a larger than standard sized room filled top to bottom with trophies, plaques, pictures, and awards. She told me to pick a trophy. I picked one that was about 4 feet tall (taller than me at the time) and that was one of my prized possessions for many years until my sister dismantled it for some reason.
Ann was my father's first cousin.

Music video link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ombaPdgP3PA

O.C. Smith, singer and songwriter
Most popular tune: "Little Green Apples"
"Little Green Apples" hit #2 on the Billboard charts in 1968
O.C. was married to my father's first cousin, Robbie Gholson

Music video link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnwlHnvWH4Q

Verlie Rice, Songwriter/Producer
Most popular tune (covered by many): "Shake Your Tailfeather"
Shake Your Tailfeather has appeared in the films:
"What's Love Got to Do With It", "Blues Brothers", "Chicken Little", "Hairspray"
and many other films
Verlie was a cousin on my mother's side

Verlie once told me she and her husband who produced bands in the 60's were approached by Joe Jackson about producing a bunch of kids from Gary, Indiana. She said the kids were wonderful but her husband would never be able to work with Joe Jackson--isn't that just funny? I love that story. She also told me that when her song was played in "What's Love Got to Do With It?" she made more money on a song than she had seen in a long time. She said she doesn't even remember Tina Turner ever singing the song.

Silas Chandler, Civil War Hero
Silas was my great-great-grandfather

Silas is the only African-American to be honored by the Confederate Sons of Veterans with the Iron Cross award. Fighting with his slave owner's son Andrew in the Civil War, Silas rescued the injured Andrew and carried him on a train to safety where he could be seen by a doctor saving Andrew's leg from amputation. Because there is evidence of Silas actually receiving a Confederate uniform, Saber, and pension, he has posthumously become famous as a Black Confederate soldier and has appeared in many historical books as such. There are disputing stories as to whether or not Silas was a free man when he served with Andrew in the war and if they were friends or Silas was simply performing loyally enslaved, but it is agreed that his actions saved the life and limb of his master's son.

I just thought it would be interesting to share these people with you. I hope you enjoyed learning a little about my family folk.

Bare Necessities

2009-10-22T09:33:00.006-04:00

Many times I've wandered in the middle of the night down the stairs to the kitchen to get a drink of water or something quick from the fridge. If I stand at the counter, which is the most comfortable place in the kitchen to reach for a glass and pour a drink, sometimes I notice I am perfectly aligned with the dining room window in the front of the house. All the kitchen windows are in the back of the house and face only trees (or so my neighbors would have me believe), but the front of the house is on a very busy corner for cars and for walking since every car that enters our development has to drive by my house. Occasionally, I will glance over to the window and think, while in my boxer briefs and tee shirt (my pajama of choice), "Hey, I'm right in front of the window."

I'm only planning on being there for a moment and not planning to make an exhibition of it, but yes, if I knew my mother-in-law or the UPS man was going to walk by, I would make sure I was out of view or sporting my Nautica fleece bathrobe. In this same spot, near the kitchen counter, is also where we dump our laundry baskets when we are doing laundry since our washer and dryer are in the kitchen. Yes, like most people, many of us in the family will often undress right there to drop off our favorite dirty clothes we want to make sure get into the wash.

I don't usually walk around the house naked, but I do in my bedroom and bathroom frequently and I don't always take pause and effort to make sure the shades are closed. Again, I don't plan on being naked for long and it is mostly for convenience while I am on my way to the chest of drawers, or shower, or closet. I even think to myself, "Well, if someone can see me, so what? It's my house."

There is controversy this week over 29 year old Eric Williamson seen naked in his house in the morning making coffee. A pedestrian mother along with her 7-year-old son were out walking and took a short cut on a path between houses through Mr. Williamson's yard and peeped him in the buff walking around in his kitchen. I'm sure it has nothing to do with it, but since this pedestrian's husband is a police officer, Mr. Williamson found himself charged with indecency crimes and facing a $2,000 fine for being naked in his own home [pic courtesy of Fox 5 News via WTOP].

In order for the charges to stick, the prosecution will have to prove that Williamson knew someone was there and exposed himself with intent. The pedestrian says Williamson first appeared in the door of his driveway and then again in a front window and purposely made himself available to be seen.

Do you have the right to be naked in your own house? Can you skinny-dip in your own pool or hot tub? In the suburbs, there is rarely enough privacy that your back yard or an unshaded window won't make your bum a shiny beacon for all to see. I would like to think that I can walk around my house naked or in my underwear and that I can get my newspaper in my bathrobe like people on TV without being harassed by nosey neighbors with nothing better to do than to report clueless people minding their own business. If my kids weren't around so much, I'm sure that would increase my naked time (OK, my brain just brought up a pic of Terry Bradshaw's character in "Failure to Launch" where he had a whole "naked room" that he used to lounge around post-retirement au naturale).

I don't know if Mr. Williamson is a "perv" or not and this poor lady could really have had something to complain about. The authorities are canvassing now to see if there were more witnesses or if this is a pattern. There is probably more to come, but so far I am sympathetic to Mr. Williamson and want to have naked coffee right now just to celebrate my rights to freedom.

All I know is my neighbors are lucky I don't have a swimming pool.

I will end with a clip from Chris Core from his commentary on WTOP News Radio because I think he sums up my feelings about it well.

http://wtop.com/emedia/167029.mp3

Words of Wisdom from Ian #12

2009-10-19T21:27:00.003-04:00

"Anyone can roast beef, but not everybody can pea soup."

Buffoon Boy

2009-10-15T22:29:00.008-04:00

In my parent's house where I grew up, there is a room affectionately referred to as the "little room." When the house was built, the two smaller bedrooms on the second floor each had a walk-in closet with a window. The previous owners at some point decided it was a good idea to knock out the wall between the closets and make it an extra bedroom.

One Summer afternoon I was worn out from playing all day and decided I would take a nap. I believe at the time, the little room was not my bedroom though it has been at times. In the 25 years I lived in that house, I had four different bedrooms and only one was a "real" bedroom. My room was once a bedroom, the little room, the attic and the basement and three of those places had some real challenges with temperature control. In those days it was all about the space heater and the window air conditioner unit. In fact, it still is in that house which central air has not been fortunate enough to breach its sacred perimeter.

Anyway, back to the nap. So, I'm just sleeping away in my own world. Somewhere between being sleep and awake I hear my mother calling, "Haaaaaaarry!" I am just too sleepy to respond. Next, I hear my grandmother calling. I don't answer. My grandmother lived with us the whole time my siblings and I lived there. My father said once, "She just came for the weekend and that was 40 years ago." My grandfather died suddenly the year my parents got married and my grandmother came to live with my parents in 1955 until she died in 1998 a month after her 100th birthday.

I'm not sure how old I was at the time. I was probably somewhere between 6 and 10 because those are mischievous years for a boy. At some point I wondered, as I was a little more awake, "What would happen if I didn't answer?" By this time I could hear several voices calling for me inside and outside of the house. I heard people running up and down the stairs but nobody came into the little room which, though the doors were open, could not be accessed directly. You would have to go through one of the other bedrooms to get to it.

After all the hub-bub seemed to subside and my rest was adequate, I emerged from my quasi-slumber and made my way downstairs. I'm sure my Mom probably hugged me, but I don't remember that part. I do remember a very stern look, which only my Mom could give, asking me where I had been and why I did not answer her calling. She said everyone had been looking for me, they had called the police and thought I was missing or something bad had happened to me. In the back of my mind I was thinking that was kind of cool to have everyone looking for me but my more immediate thought was boy, am I gonna get a whoopin.' I think my Mom was so alarmed by the adventure that I skipped out on a leather belt or hickory switch that day, but I knew to my core that I was never to do that again. I knew this because my mother said, "Don't you EVER do that again." Nearby I could see my grandmother also upset because she was confused why I was escaping the whoopin' wishing she could get a few licks in also for putting her through such turmoil and grief. I think my sister wanted in on that too.

Today, everyone was searching for "Balloon Boy." Six year old Falcon Heene was reported by his brothers to be in a 20 foot mylar balloon that became untethered from the back yard and ascended in the heavens up to 9,000 ft all over Colorado. Falcon's father works on occasional weather experiments and the balloon is an experiment he was working on. The balloon few 30-40 miles per hour with tips and turns and the media and authorities furiously trying to track it down to rescue poor Falcon who surely must have been terrified.

Finally, two hours later the balloon came down to Earth in a neighboring town. There was no basket attached and no Falcon inside. Everyone feared the worst for poor Falcon, the 6-yr old. What had happened?

Then, somewhere as the media was catching up with the story today, it was announced the family once appeared on the reality television show "Wife Swap." That is when it clicked for me this "breaking news story" may have more to it than is coming out already. It wasn't long before the wise skeptics on Facebook and Twitter began doubting that Balloon Boy was ever actually in the balloon. The authorities continued their search because as standard procedure they had already searched the house. In fact, they searched the house twice.

I began to think back at my own story and wondered if little Falcon (why is his name Falcon?) was home asleep or hiding somewhere. Sure enough by the evening news, the head investigator with Falcon's dad announced that Falcon was found safely at home and never was actually in the balloon. He was not Balloon Boy, he was more like Buffoon Boy. Half of Colorado was out looking for a spattered body over at 60 mile path and this dude was at home hiding in the attic.

As I suspected, the late news reports have footage of the boy admitting it was done for "the show" he said. The father was still denying that the whole thing was a hoax on purpose but that is my guess based on the behavior of the family that seems to love being in the spotlight. I think the whole thing was a publicity stunt.

If Falcon was just hiding in the attic and playing a joke, I can understand. He's only six. If this was the dad's master plan to get fifteen more minutes of fame, wow, that is just sad. Sad he did it and sad we all fell so hard.

UPDATE

Four days after the above post authorities have now reported the whole "Balloon Boy" incident was a hoax and planned from the beginning. Colorado authorities plan to file charges as early as today or tomorrow.

Words of Wisdom from Ian #11

2009-10-07T23:40:00.001-04:00

Swini: "Ian, what are you doing?"

Ian: "I'm cutting the cheese!"

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Achoo! Hello, Boss?

2009-10-07T22:52:00.006-04:00

Most work places (and even more prevalent in schools) have a very clear policy. Do not come to work until you have been fever-free without medication for 24 hours.

Some less stringent policies read something like this: "Employees are encouraged to be courteous to their co-workers and stay home when ill to reduce the chances of spreading illness to other colleagues."

Well, that is easier said than done. Isn't it?

The rules and HR (Human Resources) say your health and the health of fellow employees is important and your work can wait or will be covered. In reality the policy is much more schizophrenic than that. Something like, well...you shouldn't come to work if you are sick, but of course you have to finish your project because nobody else can do it...but you better not get anyone else at work sick.

This is one of the biggest Catch-22's in the workplace. With flu season creeping up soon and the Swine Flu threat already surfacing all over the country, you or someone you know is sure to face this dilemma soon.

The best cure for the flu and the quickest way to beat it is REST. No matter what drugs you are pushing or how many times you go to the doctor or the hospital, rest is the best way to equip your body with what it needs to beat the flu and it usually will take several days. The problem is most bosses are selfish jerks. You know from calling in sick previously that your boss is assuming you are lying first of all, and thinks you are just trying to get out of work. Then when the guilt overwhelms you and you come into the office sick, you are scolded for coming to the office and "infecting" everyone--including your boss who looks at you like you are a leper or at least like you have a booger on your finger.

How can you win? If you come in to work you are thought to be inconsiderate to others and even insubordinate to the sick policy. If you stay home, you are considered lazy and a slacker and inconsiderate for not thinking of the impact your absence would cause.

As a supervisor I have always tried to be considerate and compassionate to sick employees so they can rest and be restored. Some of my bosses, on the other hand, have not been so considerate. Many times they don't say anything or bug you at home, but when you come back in, they sure make you wish you didn't stay home.

What do you think? Is my observation accurate? Is your employer totally cool when you need to stay home sick?

What if you run out of sick days and vacation days? Are you forced to go on Leave Without Pay?

Words of Wisdom from Ian #10

2009-10-03T14:11:00.001-04:00

As Ian came excitedly running from the bathroom, "Look! It's Mississippi!"
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Not Just for Baked Beans Anymore

2009-09-28T19:56:00.000-04:00

Just when you thought shopping for meat was getting boring...
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Return to Neverland

2009-09-27T21:25:00.007-04:00

There are a few things in this life I am pretty nostalgic about. They are a part of me and I don't really think about them too much, but I guess the sentiments are so strong they have even passed along to my children. I've never made any effort to consciously pass these things along to them, but they've been bequeathed nonetheless.

Some of these things I've noticed are: Indiana Jones, coffee (even though that one I've tried hard not to pass along, the little boy insists he loves it even though I don't give it to him), Star Wars, Christian music, and now with the girl, Michael Jackson. He's only been gone now a couple of months but already my twelve-year old daughter Jasmine has learned dance steps from Thriller, downloaded songs and videos on her iPod and she's gotten a juicy Jheri Curl. I'm just kidding about the Jheri curl, but that may be next.

Jasmine is a budding artist and has an incredible talent for a pre-teen--well, she'll be a TEEN for real in a couple of weeks so I may as well get used to it. Just wanted to share with you two of her MJ drawings. The first one she spent a couple of days on. The second one she just drafted up in a couple of hours with her new pencils.

Rich Dad, Dumb Dad

2009-09-24T20:30:00.012-04:00

OK, so I'll admit it. I am not a big reader. I never have been. The good news is I'm trying to change that. Back when I used to make New Year's resolutions, reading more was always one of the top things on my list which like most New Year's resolutions lasted until about January 18.

My wife is a reader and her sister and so many of my friends--especially the smart ones--imagine that. Many times they will talk about new books and exchange thoughts and I am bound to silence unless the discussion takes place so late I have already seen the movie. OK, this never really happens because readers discuss things when the book is out, not the movie and when the movie comes out, you're only going to hear from readers how much the movie left out or what a poor job the movie did at capturing the "feeling" of the book. [see this blog entry on that subject]

The other day we took the whole family over to Borders to pick out some books. "The family that reads together succeeds together." My wife wanted to find a field guide on trees (if I don't say why here, it makes my wife look much more adventurous and mysterious). Borders had a special on paperbacks, Buy One, Get One 50% Off. Well, that's not quite as good as Buy One, Get One Free, but I figured it was a pretty good deal. Borders prices are pretty decent from what I've seen before and there were a couple of books I'd heard about that looked interesting.

I picked up the books and actually walked around with them like I had slain my catch and was heaving it along to be cleaned and dressed and thrown in the pickup truck. As I was walking around, I started to think... Just last week I got two books from Amazon at incredible prices. Since I'm a prime shipping customer, I have pre-paid shipping for the whole year so I don't pay any more shipping or taxes on books from Amazon so they might have them cheaper.

Proud of my decision, I laid my choices back on their table and decided I would check Amazon when I got home. Sure enough, the main book I wanted was $15.00 at Borders and Amazon had it for $4.95. Wow! "How do these boys stay in business?" I thought to myself. The two books I would have gotten at Borders for $22.00 was going to be $14.95 through Amazon and I would have them in two days with my Prime Shipping deal. "Man, I am good," I reassured myself.

Today the box was dropped off by UPS at 5:30 just like all our UPS packages arrive. We live near a big UPS shipping center and I think our house is always at the end of the line while the drivers are on the way in for the day. This explains why our dented packages are usually thrown on our stoop and the driver rings the bell and runs to his truck as fast as he can like he is doing a Halloween gag on us.

I tore open the box and then and there I was reminded of a very important point in online shopping. When you can't see something and hold it, you are not always going to get what you think you are getting.

So now I am the proud owner of a MINI version of Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I will add it to the collection of Mini-books we have in the guest restroom and I guess I will have to still purchase the full version if I want it. "Man, I am good," I thought to myself again in the same voice as before but now dripping with sarcasm.

Once I read some more of these books, I'm gonna be smarter than ever.

In the past I have mainly read religious books, biographies and business help books. I'm hoping to get into some other things. Tell me some of your favorite books I should check out. I love mystery and thriller movies so I guess I will like those type books too.

A $1.2 Billion Home Opening Flop

2009-09-21T17:55:00.008-04:00

As many of you know I am and always have been for the most part a Dallas Cowboys fan. You may think this ironic since I live in the DMV and my father has been a die-hard Washington Redskin ticket holder for 35+ years. If you don't live in this area, you might not understand that the Dallas vs. Redskins rivalry is one of the biggest rivalries in professional sports. You may not also know that next to Texas, more Dallas Cowboys fans live in the DC Metro area than anywhere else in the country. So, while I'm strange, I'm not alone. I like to explain it like this: Every once in a while in DC, someone is born with the gift.

Last night was the Dallas home opener against the New York Giants. All I have to say is this. When you are hosting the season home opener in your new $1.2 Billion (with a B) stadium and you score the winning touchdown with only 2 minutes left on the clock, DON'T SIT ON YOUR BUTT AND LET THE OTHER TEAM RUN DOWN THE FIELD AND WIN WITH A FIELD GOAL.

That's all I have to say.

But if you want to see what one of my friend's says about being a Dallas fan in DC, check it out here: Didn't I tell ya that DC stood for Dallas Cowboys???!!!

Hopkins Student With Samurai Sword Kills Burglary Suspect - washingtonpost.com

2009-09-20T12:01:00.002-04:00

Watch John Belushi as Samurai Delicatessen

Hopkins Student With Samurai Sword Kills Burglary Suspect - washingtonpost.com

This past week a student protecting his home killed a suspect with a Samurai sword. Should he be prosecuted for a crime? Or does he have the right to kill someone trespassing on his property? If the suspect was not killed, would that make a difference?

Here are some added notes:

The suspect was evidently in a crouched position when he was struck with the sword cornered against a wall.

The victim's house had been broken into twice already the same day. The police were called when the victim thought the suspect was still on the premises, but the police did not find anyone.

The suspect was just released from jail the previous day.

My Reflection of Me

2009-09-16T08:34:00.005-04:00

About two to three years ago my Pastor, Michael Oxentenko, gave a sermon and somewhere in the sermon he spoke about gazing at his reflection in a pool of water and not being happy with what he saw. That day I penned the first two verses of this poem/song. This week I put an ending on it. i don't know if it's finished or final, but just sharing with you.

On the bank of the stream reflecting the sky
So crystal clear like a mirror I spy
Pausing to gaze afraid what I’ll see
I leaned over to peer how others see me

The stream didn’t show God in my eyes
My burdens had blurred what I see
If I cannot look and see Love in my eyes,
Can others see Jesus in me
I saw worry and pain
I saw shame and felt doubt
Like the woman at the well
My reflection called out

Jesus I need you to fill me within
I need you to shield me and cleanse all my sin
I want to look at my face and see Love in my eyes
See through all the things that my tears can disguise
Then I will feel safer when others see me
I’m reflecting the truth how You set me free

A picture speaks louder than every word
Though a pen wielded carefully cuts like a sword
My words, how I speak how I say what I say
They paint my face portrait every day

I need a retouching, what I see can’t be me
Fill me Lord, make me over to what You meant me to be

Jesus I need you to fill me within
I need you to shield me and cleanse all my sin
I want to look at my face and see Love in my eyes
See through all the things that my tears can disguise
Then I will feel safer when others see me
I’m reflecting the truth how You set me free

Kanye is not so Swift

2009-09-15T16:21:00.004-04:00

Imagine you are 19 years old and you are the new teen sensation. You have worked tirelessly dancing, singing, writing songs, touring city to city and now you are at an awards show. And the winner is ....YOU! You come up in excited disbelief that all the hard work for years has paid off and even though the music you sing isn't usually the thing for this crowd, your work has crossed the lines and allowed you to gleam in the spotlight this night. You have prepared what you would say and memorized all the people you would thank. The moment is surreal. Now you have 45 seconds to thank the world. You take that stage and try to compose yourself...

And then THIS jerk comes on stage, takes the microphone from you and tells you, the audience and the millions of people viewing that the other person's video was better than yours. WHAT?

Doesn't that break all the rules of professional courtesy and "sportsmanlike conduct?"

Kanye has done it again. This guy is truly full of himself and somebody needs to give him a reality check. Last night Jay Leno asked him what his late mother would've thought of his conduct and he was so choked up he could not answer. I hope this is settling through his thick skull. MTV kicked his butt out of the theatre after his rude conduct and I hope some more doors get shut in his face for a while until he learns some humility.

Mr. West is a very talented artist and many seem to like what he brings to the world. I have never been impressed personally. I can only picture him in my mind as a whining baby wanting his bottle and blaming all the world for not giving him more and more milk for his bottle.

Wow, what a jerk!! (I didn't want to call him an asshole).

I hope Taylor Swift can keep doing what she is doing and this experience hasn't scarred her for life.

Desecration of the Chamber

2009-09-12T05:46:00.007-04:00

This blog is supposed to talk about political issues too and I really haven't done much of that yet. I guess I hold back because I am pretty moderate in my views and I often see good intentions on both sides of the aisle (although one much more than the other).

This week in the President's address to Congress, House of Representatives Republican Joe Wilson of South Carolina screamed out in loud and boisterous voice, "YOU LIE!"

[special thanks to Ashish D. for noticing I accidentally posted a pic of the wrong Joe Wilson when originally posted and posted Joseph Wilson, husband of Valerie Plame]

The President had just stated that despite the false information being circulated on the proposal for a healthcare plan, there would be no coverage for people not in the country legally. Joe Wilson, thinking he knew much more than what was told and written, not only doubted the word of the President but shouted out in the U.S. Capitol that the President was a liar. What?

Now, I'm not that old (to some), but I remember when this wouldn't even cross someone's mind to do and this would be totally outrageous, disrespectful and unacceptable. The President addressing Congress has always been a sacred time of respect. Especially in the State of the Union, the President was always regarded as a rock star. He gets thunderous applause as he enters the room and shakes hands and greets people--even signs autographs while lingering down the aisle. Any speech in Congress, though not with the same pomp and circumstance of the State of the Union, carried the same high level of respect for the President. You certainly don't have to stand up and clap at the things you don't agree with and yes, people will get the gist when you do or you don't whether you agree or disagree with the President. But, it is a speech. It is not a discussion and there should be no audible words from the audience except Yay--if you count that as a word. I can only remember presidents back to about Gerald R. Ford and this has always been the case, Democrat or Republian president and whether their party had or didn't have the majority in the Senate or the House.

I am not even addressing here whether what the President said was true or not, I am appalled just at the act of heckling the President of the United States on any speech nonetheless a speech in the halls of Congress. I'm not sure if this lack of respect was racially motivated, politically motivated or just very, very poor judgement.

Mr. Wilson, you should be ashamed of yourself.

After pressure from his own party, Wilson reluctantly contacted the White House the next day to offer an apology to the President. He was not allowed to speak directly with the President but he did speak with the staff and Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel. Mr. Emanuel thanked Mr. Wilson for his apology but suggested he might want to also make a more formal and public apology, preferably in front of his congressional colleagues. So far, Mr. Wilson has refused to do that and House Democrats are considering censure.

I remember seeing British Parliament clips with legislators rudely shouting at each other and even throwing punches and getting physical and wondering how can a government like that function when they can't even respect each other enough to hear each other's opinion. I was proud that my country didn't carry on like that and our leaders showed respect for each other enough to hear each other out. In fact, sometimes we hear each other out too much which is another discussion. It is common in many other countries not to offer such courtesy to a legislative speech maker if you disagreed with his or her opinion. Many of those chambers echo with booing, hissing, cheers, jeers and yes the occasional WHOP upside yo' head.

The late Ted Kennedy taught us an important lesson on debate. He was a man respected on both sides of the aisle and never needed an outburst in the congressional halls to show his opinions which were usually very clear. Senator Kennedy was a gentleman who engaged conversations with his friends and his adversaries. He talked and he listened and he showed others respect. He always made it a point to be cordial and inviting when addressing a debate on legislation.

I hope we are not moving to the place where our chambers of legislation become a gladiator arena where the majority enthralls the crowd and the scapegoat of the hour is publicly shamed and thrown to the lions to be devoured. Let's bring back the level of respect to the office of the president and to the Senate and House.

The Distinguished Gentleman from the State of South Carolina now has the floor

Shared Space. Can unconscious human logic solve traffic problems?

2009-09-06T20:50:00.005-04:00

There's a new concept growing in Europe to deal with traffic problems. It's called Shared Space. The concept is simple but how it works it quite complex. The idea is to remove traffic signs, stoplights, crosswalk and road markings and just let people decide what the safe action is.

The theory is that when people are not told what they should do, they concentrate more or doing what is best for the given situation. This means cars will decide when the way is clear and who has the right of way automatically and pedestrians and bicycles will look out for themselves and enter the roadway.

This has been done successfully in the Netherlands and now other European countries are trying it out after being overwhelmed with how to resolve tricky traffic issues.

Check out the video clip from CBS News and leave some comments:

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=5290564n&tag=contentMain;contentBody

You Can Call Me Ray, or You Can Call Me Jay...

2009-08-31T00:01:00.001-04:00

"Now you can call me Ray, or you can call me J, or you can call me Johnny, or you can call me Sonny, or you can call me Junie, or you can call me Ray J, or you can call me RJ, or you can call me RJJ, or you can call me RJJ Jr. ...but ya doesn't hasta call me Johnson," was the familiar chant of the short-lived but ubiquitous 70's sit-com cameo character, Raymond J.Johnson, Jr. played by Bill Saluga (left).

I talked about names changing on another blog post. This time I'm looking at nicknames. I guess I was reminded of this in the recent passing of Edward Kennedy. We all know the 11 Kennedy Brothers, right? There's Jack, John, Robert, Bobby, Ted, Ed, Teddy, Edward, Joey, Joe, and Joseph. It took me wayyyy too long to realize as a youth that Jack and John Kennedy were not brothers but actually the same person (I was born after JFK and RFK were killed). And yes, there are not eleven Kennedy brothers, there are only four. This is one family that made nicknames fun, didn't they?

(hold on, gotta switch computers since battery is dying and I don't have the cord)

(OK, I'm back)

Officially, my name is Harold after my Grandfather and Uncle. I have nicknames like Harry and Hal and those are common nicknames for Harold. My brother and sister are Jerrold and Deborah and also live their lives in no secret as Jerry and Debbie, although later in life my sister in her sophistication became Debi. I guess she didn't want to be confused with the blond cheerleader from Texas. My father is legally already Jimmie and people always try to formalize him especially in snail mail as James, but his name is not James.

I have known my wife over 25 years and I know for years she was called Swani. She has always referred to herself as Swini though others have always called her Swani. She says Swini or Swin because her name is Swi-ni-tha and not SWANN-i-tha. One of her favorite teachers, Mr. Wilson, whom everyone calls Uncle Willy, just calls her Swami (funny also because she is from India and very smart).

Most nicknames I get. Susie for Susan, Pam for Pamela, Charlie for Charles--they are just shortened versions of the name and almost come naturally to us. Other nicknames I don't get like Jack for John. Huh? Peggy for Margaret. Dick for Richard? I'm still too immature to use that one without snickering in my mind. Sorry. Where does Hank for Henry or Betsy for Elizabeth come from. At least they have some common sounds extracted from the name. Why is Ted a nickname for both Theodore and for Edward? Can't we just leave Edward as Ed or Eddie? He already has his own names wihout stealing Ted and Teddy from Theodore.

To complicate things more, if you are from down South or an Urban area, you also have some other sort of "play name." My neighbor growing up was Andre, but we all called him Moe. I don't know where the name came from other than he used to slap my other two neighbors around all the time just like Moe from the Three Stooges. We had two friends named Michael in the hood so one was Mike and the larger of the two was known as Fat Mike. Nobody ever called Fat Mike just Mike and nobody called the other Mike Skinny Mike. With parents from the South and growing up in DC, you could be sure at any given social gathering there was a Squirrel, Fats, Junie, Sonny, Foots, Day-Day, Chimpy, Chip, Skillet, JJ, Remy, Bubbles, Scooter and Bummer. And then there's the initals. I had one uncle whom we ever only knew as Uncle FM. Later I found out FM was short for Ferdinand Magellan. No, not the explorer, he was just named after him. My great-grandfather was George Washington Chandler by the way--I'm not joking and no, Carver was the peanut guy.

I guess nicknames and play names are part of humanity and seem to transcend culture and race and nationality. My mother-in-law's language is Telugu and many words in the language end in the letter or sound "U". So, wouldn't you know many nicknames use the letter U, like Lu-Lu, Shanthu, Raju, Malu, Anu--I think you get it. This may even be a Hindi or Indian thing broadly and not just limited to Telegus. I don't know. This could be the same way "ito" in Spanish or "ette" in French means little or small and is added to names to make them smaller versions. Benito, Juanito, Juliette, Suzette are examples. These names are just as much a part of us as our given legal names and in most cases they are more a part of us. Remember high school graduation when you heard some people's real names and middle names for the first time? This is another thing that complicates Friend Requests on Facebook. I mean you're wondering what ever happened to Duffy and you get that Friend Request for Christopher and it takes like three days of not replying before it hits you that Doh! Christopher is Duffy and you don't have to ignore him any more.

Well, that's about all I have to say about that. Here's a list of some common nicknames and their matching given names on About.com.